10 Reasons Why the 2006 MTV Music Awards Sucked

This year, watching the MTV Awards was like peeking at the cop pulling over the driver on the side of the road: you don’t really care what happens to the driver, but you still want to know the details. The VMA’s is an awards show that many look forward to. Usually, an entertaining package unwraps before your eyes, filled with outrageous outfits, mind-blowing performances and crazy stunts. To say the least, I was pretty annoyed with this year’s delivery.

1. Jack Black
Why is it every time I see this guy, he looks like he hasn’t taken a bath in weeks? When you pick a host for what is considered a reputable awards show, you should pick someone that can relate to a wide-range of audience members. I didn’t connect to this host and he didn’t strike me as particularly funny. By the end of the VMA’s, I couldn’t stomach to listen to his rants.

2. Sarah Silverman
What was she saying anyway? What role was she supposed to play? And lastly, how did all the people in the audience stomach her monologues? I’ve seen her before and she’s usually full of an assortment of blunt comments, but on the VMAs, she sounded like the teacher on “Charlie Brown.” Another complete waste of my time.

3. Brittany and Federline
It’s bad enough they made fools of themselves on the Kid’s Choice Awards, but now they’re given air time to deliver a completely useless skit. You could smell the desperation through the TV screen. Spears blurted out a few curse words here and there and painfully attempted to make light of her past baby blunders. FederlineâÂ?¦FederlineâÂ?¦..FederlineâÂ?¦.still trying to keep that “game face” on? Could he even see the camera through what appeared to be smoke-glazen eyes?

4. Shakira and the “Booty Dance”
Even when Shakira comes out to present an Indian-inspired dance routine, it still looks like she is doing the same wriggling of the hips that she is known for. When she broke into the “Beyonce booty-shaking” routine, all I could do was shake my head and sigh. It’s been so overdone.

5. Paris Hilton Outfit
There are a million things Paris Hilton could have worn to the VMA’s, but she chose to wear a prettyâÂ?¦.. ugly ensemble. Not only was it reminiscent of a 80s prom dress gone really bad, but she decided to cap off her so-called fashion statement with an equally ugly pair of boots.

6. LL Cool J / 50 Cent
I know LL had to be a bit perturbed being paired with 50 Cent; not because he’s a star that may shine brighter, but because of how unorganized the two looked on the stage. Usually, LL breezes through his lines and charms the audience, but he seemed to fall back in the shadow of the bumbling 50 Cent. When it came time to read off the winner of their assigned category, LL quickly read it off before 50 could butcher the moment any further.

7. The Pussycat Dolls
Yes, there are a lot of them, but why did it take until the 3rd and 4th girl to give thanks to Snoop Dogg for making his very influential cameo. The MTV camera kept cutting to his face, which never seemed to change, even when they finally got around to thanking him. I could only imagine what was going through his head when they were at the podium speaking. Whatever it was, he didn’t look too pleased with the association.

8.Andre 3000’s Outfit
Enough said.

9. Timberlake is Borderline
Dancing, yesâÂ?¦.singingâÂ?¦.no. Timberlake is a classic case of what happens when artists like Usher are taking a time-out. The dance steps in his performance from his “My Love” performance were entertaining, although the singing was a bit squeaky in the beginning. Just as I was getting used to the singing, the beat changed and he began to perform “Sexy Back.” In a matter of 5 seconds, he became too sexy for the stageâÂ?¦or so he thought. Next time, eliminate the crouch grabbing; it was a complete turn-off.

10. Tenacious D Performance and Skit
What a waste of airtime! Their friendship/relationship woes skit went far too long for my taste. When they got on the stage and preformed together, I was not pleased. This is when I turned the station, highly disappointed.

5 Reasons Why It Wasn’t a Total Waste of Time

1. Abigail Breslin
She’s the little girl who presented the Best New Artist award with Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie and stole the limelight. Don’t know if it was planned, but she began to dance, causing Fergie to follow. She is definitely a scene stealer. For those of you who don’t know, her acting credits include: “Little Miss Sunshine,” “Signs,” and “Raising Helen.”

2. OK Go’s Treadmill Performance
I wasn’t familiar with this group before the awards, but I heard that they created quite a buzz on the Internet with their video. The VMA’s would be the first time that the group performed it live. It was really unique to see how organized the group was, as they jumped, flipped over and danced on moving treadmills. For me, it might have been the highlight of the show. A flawless performance that could appeal to anyone.

3. The End of the Beyonce Dance Routine
I am by no means a “Beyonce fan,” but the end of her “Ring the Alarm” performance was a well-choreographed presentation. All of the dancers were in sync, as they contorted their bodies close to the ground, simulating a low-rider. Now, the first part of the performance sounded like a bunch of shouting to me, but I feel she made up for it in the end.

4. The Very Classy Aguilera
Her dress, her hair, her poise, her singingâÂ?¦.she’s come a long way!

5. Usual Suspects Left Out
What is the world coming to when Kanye West and Madonna don’t go home with a VMA? For example, Pink won an award for her song, “Stupid Girls,” which was a bit unexpectedâÂ?¦beating out Shakira, Aguilera, Madonna, and Nelly Furtado.

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