5 Things Writers Hate to Hear
Having been a writer for over 15 years, I have had my fair share of telling people what I do. There are always new responses, but the majority fall into just a few different categories. There are always those that are interested to learn what you do and genuinely amazed to read things you’ve written. Then, there are those that simply stab a little dagger into your gut when they utter certain phrases upon hearing you’re a writer. Here are 5 things that every writer hates to hear:
Number 1: “Oh, I could do that.” – Ok, no. No, you can’t, or you would. This is up there on the top because, well, it’s rude. It’s like you telling me that you’re an architect and you just built this awesome mansion and then my response being, ‘Oh, well, I could do that’. Truth be told, no I couldn’t, nor would I want to – which is why I’m a writer, not an architect.
Number 2: “Well, that must be an easy job.” – This one seriously is like a punch in the gut guys, and goes along with number 1. In fact, usually this goes hand in hand with number 1. Here’s the catch with this one, writing is not easy. Period. I have a gift of making words dance and sing for me when they flow from my brain to the keyboard. However, that doesn’t make every single piece I write easy. I’ve had some simple, small articles absolutely kick my butt. As a writer, I don’t just automatically know everything. I have to research topics, (some more than others), and I have to ensure that everything is perfectly worded to flow correctly. On top of this, every client is different and some are so demanding that it can make you want to pull your fingers off. Of course, writing is like any other job, it has parts that are fun and easy, and it has parts that make you question what the heck you were thinking when you decided this is what you wanted to do. In no way is writing “easy”.
Number 3: “I’ve never heard of you.” – Well, Mr. KnowItAll, I’ve never heard of you either, but I didn’t say it to your face when you tell me that you’re a big shot attorney/accountant/teacher/whatever, did I? Most writers are not instantly famous, and some, like myself, do more ghostwriting than anything. So, if you’ve never heard of me, I’m cool with that. What I am not cool with, however, is you telling me basically that I’m insignificant in your eyes because I’m not Steven King.
Number 4: “I would love to work in my pjs all day too, but I have a real job.” – Seriously? That’s like telling a nurse or doctor that they don’t have a real job. Ok, ok, maybe not that serious, but in some cases it is. First of all, I don’t work in my pjs all day, and any true writer doesn’t either. (We might fudge a bit and work in them here and there, but not every single day. And, I’m sure you have casual days at work too my friend.) But telling someone that what they do to make a living for their family is “not a real job” is downright punch-worthy in my opinion. I’m sure that journalists and writers who are embedded with units in the middle of war zones feel that their job is extremely real. I’m sure that those that write for large news stations and cover stories every day feel that their jobs are real. I’m sure that those that write multi-million dollar movie scripts feel that their jobs are real. Just like I feel that my job is real because I make a good living doing it. I wouldn’t tell you that your job isn’t real, so don’t do it to me.
Number 5: “I can write, can you tell me what to do to get published?” – This, or some variation of it, comes out of someones mouth on a weekly basis. This may in fact be the worst of the punishments in this list for many reasons, and it all starts with the fact that some people are just not good writers. Period. I cannot give you some magic formula that will instantly get you published and making millions of dollars a year. It just doesn’t really happen. I can give you some pointers and ideas, but I simply refuse to stick my neck out for anyone – family and friends included here – because it’s my reputation on the line here too. I wouldn’t go to a law firm and say, “Hey, I’m good at arguing, teach me to be an attorney.” and then expect a job. So, don’t expect that any writer you know can just churn out some magic spell and instantly make you a writer. Most of us have been doing this for years, have degrees, and have gone through the trial and error of a beginning writer to be where we are.
Now, I understand that this list might sound a bit harsh at times. However, look at it from a writer/artist/painter/graphic designer/etc point of view: we chose this particular job for a reason, just like doctors, lawyers, and accountants do. We are good at what we do and we make a good living at it. Simply because their is a perception of writers, or other freelancers, that make our jobs seem easy or glamorous, doesn’t mean that they are. Remember that you wouldn’t want someone saying these things to you when you tell them what you do for a living, so try and keep these phrases, (or some like them), from escaping your lips and everyone will be happy.
