9 Ways Married Christians Can Show Their Love
Husbands, love your wives . . . Ephesians 5:25-27: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Are You That Good Thing?
Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.
I have vowed to let my love walk begin in my own home. I cannot be an effective Christian if I don’t walk in the love that God says is so important. God’s word clearly defines what love is and what it is not. Humans have lived with a carnal and natural definition of love, but God’s word says, “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” (I Corinthians 13:4-7).
Here are nine ways married couples can demonstrate their love for one another.
1. Cook a Homemade Meal.
No matter what they say, food is still a great way to express love. Ladies and gentlemen McDonald’s and Olive Garden are not always going to get the job done! So roll up your sleeves, put on your apron and get to work. The aroma of herbs and spices is a nice smell to come home to. A homemade meal demonstrates that you took the time out of your busy schedule to focus on your spouses’ needs. Make the meal special by finding out what is your spouse’s favorite dish and prepare it the way he or she likes. Add some candlelight and soft music if you want to set a romantic mood. Putting on a nice dress or nice slacks will add a pinch of elegance to your evening.
2. Give a Massage
Who says massages are only for vacation-time? This tip is especially for men and women who have spouses with stressful jobs (I think that is all of us). Stress and tension can build up and we need some way to release it. Help each other release stress by offering a nice massage. If you can obtain some massage oil, it tends to be a little expensive at around $10 -$12 for very few ounces, but it is definitely worth it. Many times massage oil will have a certain fragrance that invokes the senses. If you know your spouse’s favorite perfume or cologne, try to find oil similar to that fragrance. The ingredients in massage oils tend to be therapeutic, the oil seeps deeper into the skin, and helps relax the muscles even more than simple massaging.
3. Write a Love Letter
We all want our spouse to desire us. Women tend to think about how we want to be loved, adored, and cherished. However, just think for a moment if we did those things for our husbands that we want them to do for us. We reap what we sow. Love letters are a great way to list all the ways your spouse makes you happy. Emphasize how special he or she is to you. Express how nice your spouse looks to you. His eyes should at least be nice to gaze into. Pour it on thick. Make your spouse feel like she is the best and do not be afraid to say it. Make your husband feel as if the world revolves around him (if only for the 5 minutes it takes to read the letter). We can sometimes get caught up on focusing on what is wrong wit our spouses, but when do we take the time to appreciate what they do right. Holidays should not be the only time of the year we share how pleased we are with our spouses. We should express our adoration often. Writing a love letter is your chance to do just that.
4. Tell Your Spouse You Love Them Everyday
The power of words is never to be underestimated. Telling your spouse you love him or her everyday, even if you have had an argument the night before, will bring about a stronger bond, more trust, and openness between you both. Think of what great comfort exists when you and your spouse know that even if you two argue about something, there is nothing so big that it brings lasting strife and contentions into our relationship. Forgive each other quickly!
5. Listen When Your Spouse Talks
Men do not talk as much as we women do. Face it ladies! So stop trying to make him talk to you. It is not that he does not want to talk to you, although some of us have this ability to make our husbands shut down, but men tend to keep their issues to themselves and deal with them as they see fit. We have to respect each other. What we can do is make our conversations more conducive to an environment were our spouse feels comfortable opening up. How do we do that? Giving your undivided attention when he or she speaks. Never downplay or criticize the importance of what your spouse says. Understand that there are things you both do not like about the other, communicating is the best way to find out what those things are and how to correct them. Guess what that means that we are going to have to put our verbal skills on hold for a few minutes out of the day. It is okay you will not burst. The lasting effects of your spouse knowing you listen, respect, and cherish his or her communicating with you will open the door for effortless future conversations.
6. Massage The Ego
Tell your spouse how great he or she looks. If he has on a nice pair of slacks or a nice dress, let your spouse know that you like their physical appearance. Tell your husband that he looks like he is getting more muscular. Tell your wife she seems to be slimming down, or that she just looks good. Always be honest! The key is to begin to compliment each other. Not just on physical features, but also compliment on efforts made to make each other happy. If he washed the dishes, comment on how good the kitchen looks. Provide positive reinforcement for your spouse and watch how they begin to do more things to please you.
7. Plan Get-a-Ways Often, For the Both of You
This does not mean plan several exotic trips to far-off lands. That can create a deep dent in your pocketbook. It just means find a babysitter if you have children, a pet-sitter if you have pets, and plan occasions where it is just the two of you. This will help you both remain connected. Get-a-ways such as walks in the park are good, or a trip to the zoo. A date at the local ice cream parlor is what helps my husband and I rekindle a fire. Who knows it may be what you need to rekindle the love of your youth.
8. Share Your Thoughts with Each Other.
Express to your spouse what your innermost secrets and desires are. Next to our Heavenly Father, your spouse should be your best friend. Confide in your spouse and do not be afraid to show your vulnerable side. Share your desire to vacation on a far away island with white sand between your toes. Who knows, it may be your luck that your spouse blesses you with your heart’s desire. Communication is vital.
9. Overlook Some of The Faults
Love covers a multitude of sins (and faults). I know we think we have it all together, but we do not. We all make mistakes and we all fall short in some areas. What makes us think, our spouses will not will not? Is it necessary to mention every time he leaves the toilet seat up. Is it necessary to make mention of every time he leaves a drop of milk in the refrigerator? Is it necessary that you complain that she purchase two new dresses this week instead of one. I am in no way saying lay down and be trampled on, but the word of God says a foolish man is quick to anger. I have found that waiting a few seconds before you get upset helps you to see the situation from the other spouse’s perspective. This is the beginning of mercy. If we can have mercy on the Pastor and everyone else in the church and in the world, we should be able to have mercy on the one person God blessed us with to enjoy for the rest of our lives.
Let us enjoy our spouses. Loving each other is not a task; it is a commandment from God. Begin to sow love and similar to other areas of your life; when you sow bountiful, you will reap bountifully. Live long, love life, and each other.
Be blessed.
