Caring for Aging Family Members is More Than Just Healthcare

Mom moved in with us two years after Dad died. Cooking meals, managing her finances, arguing with vendors, taking her to medical appointments, and making sure scammers do not get through to her has become my responsibility. Transitioning to caregiver mode from empty-nest mode is not as easy an adjustment as it sounds. It has been a learning experience for both of us.

Some of the things learned that can make the adjustment easier are:

You have powdered behind syndrome

Because your mom powdered your behind, she may not listen to what you tell her. It will not matter that you give her the same advice that the doctor, the lawyer, or the accountant provides. Put aside your ego. Remember that she may still think of you as her 10-year-old child.

Get a power of attorney

This one device will save so much wear and tear on your temper. Your parent’s pension plan administrators, healthcare providers, and financial establishments are not going to give you the time of day. However, a power of attorney will open up the necessary channels of communication.

Hire a CPA

Get a professional accountant to help with your parent’s finances and tax filings. There may be some tax credits for the caregiver that the accountant will help you recover. The accountant may also be able to find extra money owed to your parent from back taxes.

Be patient

My mother moving into my home was disrupting. Moving from an area and home that she had lived in for more than 40 years to three small rooms in another state had to be traumatic for her. She is here so that I can be sure she eats properly, has companionship, and is protected. The disruption is worth it.

Be understanding

My mother is a voracious reader. I did not pay attention to her choice of reading material. That is until we took a load of books to the bookstore to trade for in-store credit. Her copy of “The Very Virile Viking” caught me off guard. While it may not be my choice, she liked reading it. After all, she is an individual with her own preferences. Respect that.