Turkey Al Fiasco

I don’t know what possessed her to try to lift a twenty six pound turkey all by herself. I had the utility/tea cart waiting and ready. I was going to bathe the turkey in some warm water to speed the thawing process a bit, but the kitchen sink wasn’t big enough so I was sterilizing the sink in the laundry room.

I heard pots and pans hitting the floor, so I knew I better get back there. I rounded the corner just in time to hear, “EAHEHGGH, EAHEHGGH, EAHEHGGH!”, as she went rolling past me on the utility cart-on her back, turkey in her lap, wig sideways on her head and legs flailing. She was hanging onto the turkey with one hand and the wig with the other. She rolled lickety split across the parquet floor. I couldn’t catch her. The cart hit the side of the armchair, the turkey went air-borne, and Aunt Irma went tuffet over tea kettle into the armchair.

Mandy and Sunny were “zenning” in my “Bonsai Room” a.k.a. the den, when that turkey came through the rice paper double doors. Thank goodness they were on the other side of the room. “What the heck?! Mom!” They were both so startled, I think they must have jumped a foot off the sofa. The turkey landed halfway between the door and the coffee table and the girls both headed toward the door. I was still in shock, but was helping Aunt Irma get upright and situated in the chair when both looked out through the hole in the door. Mandy said, “Gee, Mom, I didn’t know you were having the turkey flown in.” Sunny chimed in, “The Turkey has landed.” Yep, those are my girls; and that’s my icing. I think I’m going to put Aunt Irma to work writing out pace cards next door.

Some jokes at the Thanksgiving dinner table:
“Here’s an idea for turkey leftovers, Mom-Turkey-a-la-fling. Why didn’t the turkey fly out the kitchen window? Because he flew through mom’s den doors. The last guy in Aunt Irma’s life was a real turkeyâÂ?¦yeah, but she gave him the heave ho.” “Okay, enough already”!!