An Email Date? Oh No.
But, how do you manage all the answers on those annoying questionnaires? How do you know they’re being truthful? When should you arrange a face-to-face date? Though these answers are based on your personal needs, many suggest treating online dating much like you would a real person to person date.
THE EMAIL
Okay, so you’ve muddled through your online profile, carefully choosing just the right thing to say. Now, you’re ready for some contact. Email is a great way to get to know someone.
E – Etiquette. Emails require a certain amount of etiquette, just like a real conversation. Don’t use all capitals – your buddy will think you’re yelling! Block instant messages – you don’t want them to think you’re desperate or always available.
M – Maintain anonymity, until you feel comfortable. This is one perk on the online date scene. Don’t offer too much too soon. Photo’s are always a good determination if there is any attraction, but just make sure they’re not outdated, or have your ex in them.
A – Avoid lying and poetic responses. When typing in replies, it is easy to pretend your something your not. But, lying is never a good thing. The only way to assure your email buddy likes you for who you are is to be truthful. If they don’t like it, don’t waste your time. Now a word about the poetic, mushy responses – they end up sounding more like a greeting card! Be honest – do you really talk that way? Even though emails give you time to think of a great response, type the way you speak to avoid a big let down later. Keep it light and breezy – keep them interested.
I -Interrogate not! Okay, so you’ve checked the profile and it all seems too good to be true. Don’t set out immediately to discover every small flaw or white lie. Even face-to-face dates lie sometimes. Honesty comes with trust – trust is built over time. Don’t rush it!
L – Look for similar interests. They say opposites attract, but you have to have something in common – what else would you talk about? Keep conversations in the give-and-take mode – don’t hog the limelight no matter how much they ask. This is your time to get to know them too, so use it!
After 3-5 emails, if a face-to-face meeting doesn’t enter into it, move on. Branch out to other dating sites. That’s not saying you need to block more emails. You’re bound to meet a few people you’d rather be friendly with.
So, now, you’ve swapped a few emails, and you agree to meet – the moment of truth has arrived! Treat meeting an online buddy the same as you would a conventional date.
D – Divulge just enough. Just because you agree to meet doesn’t mean you have to divulge every little detail. And, even if you think this is the person of your dreams, don’t share you feelings too early. There’ll be time for that later. Get your date to talk about themselves – make them feel good.
A – Always look good. Okay, you sit around in your torn sweats and messy hair pecking away at your keyboard. Is that how you would go out on a date? Not that you have to go all out, just look presentable. Be quietly feminine or subtly masculine. Don’t go too sexy or too strange – you’ll send the wrong message.
T – True to yourself. You wouldn’t settle on a traditional date, why would you settle now? Be confident, be realistic and most of all, be yourself. Don’t lie to yourself – if you’re not interested, move on!
E – Expect too much? Do you expect fireworks on the first date? If so, you will be disappointed. Keep dates brief but interesting – go for coffee rather than dinner. Don’t go on someone’s “potential”. You won’t change them, so why try? Try to see the person for who they really are. And, remember, you can’t know everything from just one date!
Always remember, online dating is similar to conventional dating, except you get a chance to “weed” out undesirables first! Follow your heart, but listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, chances are, it isn’t!
