Getting Your Child to Sleep Through the Night

Studies show that most children under the age of 3 do not sleep through the night. So the question is, are you willing to live with this brief (over the lifespan of the child) developmental phase of your child’s life? Many parents come to accept their role as parents at night as well as during the day and they consciously choose to wait out their child’s night waking. In fact, well-known pediatrician and author William Sears, M.D. has written a book called “Nighttime Parenting”. The idea is to develop parenting skills to be used at night to maximize the amount of sleep that both children and parents are getting. Here are some suggestions that I discovered in my years as a psychiatrist working with parents as well as my personal experiences as the mother of two fairly wakeful children.

-Keep your perspective. It is important for parents to remember that difficulty sleeping through the night, like drinking from a bottle and wearing a diaper do not last forever. Talking to moms of older children will help you to keep in mind that “they are only little once”. There may be a time that you will miss those quiet late-night moments watching your little one’s get heavier and heavier until they drift off into sleep.
-Establish sleeping schedules. Due to the busy schedules of today’s family’s I find that many children do not have regular routines including regular naptimes and bedtimes. Trying as much as possible to make a routine that works for you and for your family helps to encourage little ones to sleep through the night. Your children’s bodies should be so accustomed to going to sleep at the same time daily that their bodies practically shut down when it is time to sleep.
-Keep evening time calm. Once dinner is over, try to spend some quiet time together as a family. Younger and older children alike enjoy being read to and books are a perfect way to unwind together. Turning lights down low, playing soothing music and enforcing a no-roughhouse rule after a certain hour will also help.
-Find a good bedtime routine. From warm baths to a certain story to evening prayers, children feel secure enough to sleep if they become accustomed to a certain bedtime procedure.
-If your child does awaken in the night, keep your visit to re-settle them as matter-of-fact as possible. My rule, which helped with my children, was no talking or laughing in the middle-of-the-night parenting runs. Also, studies show that turning on the lights will make it harder for the child to go back to sleep. You may need to experiment with what method works to get your child back to sleep most easily. Some children may like being patted on the back others may like their head rubbed. I knew one baby who liked his ears massaged!
-Remember that each child is unique. What works with one child may not work with another. Each child also comes with his or her temperament and personality and this will influence both their ability to sleep through the night and the best way that you should respond to them.
-Ask for help if you need to. If mom has been getting up with baby for longer than she feels she can handle, mom may need a break from nighttime parenting. It is time for Dad to step up to the plate and pitch in. Dad or another caregiver should take regular turns in the nighttime parenting arena so that no one person gets overwhelmed. These nights can either be planned (perhaps the weekend for a Dad who works during the week) or may need to occur on an emergency basis.
-If you find that you are waking multiple times at night with an older baby or toddler you may need to investigate possible reasons for the nighttime awakening. You may need to check with your pediatrician to discover if your child has perhaps an infection causing itching of the anus, ADHD, or allergies that may be contributing to the nighttime waking. Teething or coming down with a cold or other common childhood illness could also be the cause. Also consider, is the child hungry or thirsty? What was their intake over the course of the day? Finally, is the child getting enough attention from parents during the day? Some working moms find that they enjoy brief periods alone with their child late in the night because they feel they are getting a little extra time with them, holding them and cuddling with them.

Overall, dealing with the very common problem of children who do not sleep through the night is challenging and trying for the most patient parent. Hopefully, utilizing some of the tips above will help you to survive until that magic time when you realize with glee, “My baby slept through the night!”