A Divorced, Single Man’s Thoughts on What Women Want

Ah, the mystery of the female species. Most men think that women are so difficult to please and figure out. On the contrary, it’s easier than you can possibly imagine.

First of all, I’m no “Don Juan” or “ladies man”. I’m 37, divorced and single. I’m not perfect by any means but I’ve managed to learn from my mistakes and I believe that I’ve finally figured out “What Women Want”. And you know what? It’s so easy. You’ll wonder why you didn’t figure it out yourself.

Now the following methods don’t apply to women who are materialistic and mostly care about what you can give them. (And who wants a woman like that anyway) But the genuine woman out there who is looking to be swept off her feet and wants to be hopelessly in love, the following methods will bring happiness and satisfaction to your lady regarding her relationship with you. And when she feels that way, greatness follows.

Most men agree that women are emotional roller coasters. They are very different from men in that respect. Many women say one thing but mean something totally different. Us men aren’t like that at all. Women don’t have to read between the lines with us. We say EXACTLY what we mean in most cases. I’ve heard men complain that their wife or significant other isn’t in the mood as much as they are for intimate evening activity. With most women, if they aren’t being fulfilled EMOTIONALLY, it’s difficult for many of them to open up sexually. You may think that you have to spend a lot of money to romance her. You may say that you can’t afford to take her out to a romantic dinner every weekend or send her a dozen roses at work. You don’t have to. LITTLE THINGS. There are tons of little things you can do to melt your ladies heart. Most of them don’t cost a cent, (or cost VERY little) and they don’t take any real time but they convey to your lady that you love them and that you’re thinking about them. Here are a few examples.

1. Love notes. I’m not talking about a long letter with a romantic handwritten poem. Something simple. A little “I love you” written on a piece of paper, stuffed in her jacket pocket or the sugar bowl, anyplace where she’ll find it on a later day. Stop by the greeting card store. Spend $2 to $5 and get one of those sweet romantic/for any occasion cards for her.

2. Phone calls. These have a big effect. During your day or at anytime when the two of you are apart. Pick up the phone and call her just to tell her that you love her and/or that you’re thinking about her. (Or text her cell phone).

3. Cook for her. Here’s another thing that will make a big difference. Try to get the opportunity to cook her a meal. Can’t cook? Don’t give me that. If you can read and comprehend directions, you can cook. Buy a cookbook, ask mom to write out a kicking recipe for you. If she is out somewhere in the evening and expects to make dinner when she gets home, have it waiting for her when she walks in. And I don’t mean “Hamburger Helper” or “Kraft Mac and Cheese”. Make her some lemon pepper chicken, or some chicken parm (don’t forget the salad for pasta dishes) a nice marinated steak with some steamed or stir fried veggies. If you two have identical work schedules, get up an hour before she does, leave a note on your pillow to stay in bed (in case she wakes before you’ve finished) and make her a nice breakfast. Not a bowl of cereal either. Make an omelet or some sort of egg dish with some bacon and home fries and bring it in the bedroom for her. When you’re hungry for a snack, ask her, “Would you like me to make you something?”

4. Pet names. I’m not talking about calling her “widdle pwecious” or “baby bum bum” but a simple “darling” or “sweetheart” in place of her name can make a big difference.

5. Chivalry. Chivalry is NOT dead. Most men are NOT like this. If YOU are, that will set you aside (in a good way) from the other men. It’s not difficult to find a man who will open the door for his lady, but push it up a notch. Open the CAR door for her. Not just when she’s getting in but when you park, get out first, walk around the car (past the front bumper so she can see you walking to her door) and open the car door for her. Now if she’s not expecting it, she’ll likely have it open before you get there but still walk around and when she asks why you walked around like that, tell her, “I was just going to open the door for you”. If you take her out to dinner, help her off with her coat and pull out her chair for her, let her step to the table and then set the chair behind her for her to sit down, after dinner, help her on with her coat.

Human contact. Women can’t get enough of this. I’m not talking about sex either. Hold her hand when you’re walking with her, give her a tender kiss on the lips for no reason at all, look her in the eyes and give her a tender smile and tell her you love her. Walk up behind her and put your arms around her when she doesn’t expect it. Women LOVE to cuddle. If you sleep together, at night, in bed, before you go to sleep, just hold her for a while. This isn’t to try to get sex (But hey, if she ends up instigating, go for it.) but to make her feel loved, secure, and safe.

Women like to know that they are loved, cared for, and thought of. Even if you’re not the type of guy who’s good at being romantic, she knows that. The fact that you are doing these “little things” on a regular basis will melt her heart. And let’s face it guys. How happy our lady is, makes a difference on how happy WE are. When a woman is happy in her relationship, she is much more giving to her man. She’s “in the mood” more and she’s generally happier. And when you DO screw up, (and let’s face it, we ALWAYS do sooner or later), she’ll get over it a lot quicker. Normally when we do something that upsets our lady, she is upset about that one thing but all those other things that you do that get on her nerves she lets eat at her at that time as well. If she’s generally happy in her relationship, she’ll be thinking about whatever she’s angry at you about but also thinking, “But he is so sweet to me. He cooks for me, he holds my hand, and what’s this? Oh a little love note in my jacket pocket”. Next thing you know, she’s forgotten why she was mad at you in the first place.

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