The College Experience: Ditching Class and Going to Too Many Parties

Waking up at the crack of dawn to hop in the shower, throw on whatever clothes seem clean and that are lying on the floor, throw back some coffee and hop in your car. Never mind scraping off the entire thick sheet of ice that’s on the front of your windshield, all you need is a little 8-by-8 spot to see. You barely make it safely to your final destination (because other people don’t know how to drive) and then you spend close to a half-hour trying to find somewhere to park, despite the fact that your class started 10 minutes ago. You finally find somewhere to park, and with that being accomplished you can now look forward to a two-mile walk in the wind and snow. Oh that’s great, you even forgot your gloves.

The day drags on. You struggle to keep your eyes open but your eyelids close numerous times. All you hear in your head are the same sounds Charlie Brown’s parents made: “Waaa, Waaa, Waaa,” but this time they’re coming out of your professors, not the TV. You are awakened once by Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony coming out of your cell phone. The professor gives you a dirty look as you shut your phone off, but then you drift back into a sleep.

You robotically move from class to class unaware of what is even going on. You say hello to people you pass by, comment on how “banging” that party was last night, and stop to spend what you think is a small fortune on lunch for yourself.

When the day is over you backtrack and make your way home, only to collapse back on your bed and fall asleep at 3 in the afternoon. You wake up around 8 to get ready and go to a gathering of people at your friend’s apartment and make it home sometime around 3 a.m. You pass out and begin the whole gruesome routine again the next day.

Ah the freedom of being away from your parents’ watchful eye. You’re one of the lucky ones. Mom and Dad pay your tuition even when your GPA drops down to a 2.0. It was your professors’ fault anyway. OK, so it’s true, you didn’t really attend that many classes that semester, but it was because the professor didn’t know how to teach. That, and you knew some people who threw some great parties last semester and you were pretty tired the next day. But if he knew how to teach you might have been motivated to go to class! Why would you need to pass English 101 anyway?

Your parents pay for pretty much everything. But you still have a job! You stand behind a counter and try to sell people cell phones for six hours a week. Well why would you work more than that? All you need is beer money anyway. Oh and you need gas money, too, but that 2002 Mustang that your parents bought you as a gift for graduating high school gets amazing gas mileage.

Not to stray away from the topic, college is hard. Well it’s hard now that you’ve decided that you want to be an art major. Ah, liberal arts was so much easier. It’s too bad Buffalo State threatened you until you would decide on a major. Art though, there’s so many colors, shapes, it makes my head hurt just thinking about it. It’s OK, I’m on the 5 Ã?½ year plan anyway. I’ve got time to work hard. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes me though. My Dad said he’ll get me a real nice job at the bank once I graduate. I figure I’ll take my time and enjoy college. Who wants to rush into the real world anyway? Getting up early every morning to work from 9 until 5. Sure you get a pretty nice paycheck but you weren’t planning on moving out of your parents’ house anytime soon. Why would you do that? You’ve got everything you could ever need there!

So it’s true, you’re enjoying life to the fullest. That’s what college is all about. These are the best years of your life! Why let them rush by? OK so the classes aren’t really one of the fun parts, but that’s the price you have to pay to have “The college experience,” I guess. Keep on living these years of your life this way, because this is the life of a college student.