Parenting Tips: Music Time Can Benefit Your Children
Like most people, you are seeking an entertaining way to pass the time with your children. You are tired of planting them in front of a DVD, so what now? Finding games you can all enjoy is sometimes difficult, and finding activities that help your children to learn and develop life skills, now that can be down-right impossible. Even Mary Poppins must have gotten tired of Monopoly and Life. Half-way through such a long board-game, the bored-om sets in and the game is not as much fun as you had expected. Sure, there is nothing wrong with a good old game of Pictionary or Scrabble, but I think you might be missing out on a more valuable and memorable experience with your family. Time to turn the radio up!
Whether you play an instrument or just like to listen to your favorite compact discs while driving, almost everyone loves music, especially children. I speak of something I know when saying that your children want more music in their lives. Performing live at elementary school assemblies over this last year has shown me how hungry kids are for music. Just the sight of an instrument gets them wound up and excited. These are your kids I am playing for, and I am telling you now – they need more music!
If you have ever considered even for a moment that you might like to learn an instrument, then please follow through. No, you are not too old to learn new tricks. I was a grown woman before I ever learned piano and now I play for a living, so save your excuses. Learning an instrument could be the most important thing you ever do for or with your kids. Chances are, your child will learn faster than you will, but that is fine. This is helpful, as you want them to be proud and encouraged. What better way to build your son’s confidence then by saying, “Wow, I wish I could do it like that!” Here he learns that he can learn anything and meet any challenge, especially when he does it with you. The time you spend practicing together will be some of the most precious memories your child carries into adulthood.
Never had an inclination to play? Do not worry, you still have musical experiences to offer your children. What was your favorite song or artist growing up? Drag out your vinyls and turntable or run down to the mall and pick it up on compact disc. Play this for your kids and tell them what you were doing when you first heard that song. Show them a special dance you did to this song. Better yet, teach them to keep rhythm with the music by stomping or clapping, and soon they will feel like part of the band. And do not forget, your children are unique and not replicas of you and your spouse. The fact that you have never been a natural musician should not stop you from giving your child a hand at it. My parents played nothing except records and 8-tracks, but I play six instruments.
Regardless of your skill, I know you can play one instrument – your voice. We all like to sing along with our favorite songs, so why not invest in some CD+G discs for your home. These are audio compact discs with lyrical graphics recorded so that you can read them on your television. Many karaoke dealers have massive collections of these and they are great fun for the whole family. When you mess up on Wind Beneath My Wings and the song becomes unrecognizable, you can all enjoy a good laugh. If you can laugh at yourselves, your children will see that it is okay to make mistakes. Alternately, when your daughter gets the timing right on Since U Been Gone, you cheer her on and build her self-esteem (pitch control will come with time, encourage them to work on timing and rhythm at this point).
You might be wondering what kind of music to play with your kids. Unless we are talking about pre-schoolers, do not patronize your children with Mother Goose Rhymes and Old McDonald. I know, it seems like the right thing to do, but they have heard those songs all their lives on televison and at school. Believe me, they are sick of them. When we played Old McDonald for my daughter’s Kindergarten class, her tenacious little friends yelled out to us, “That’s a baby song!” So play pop, country, heavy metal, whatever you like, whatever they like, providing the lyrics are age appropriate. You will be amazed at how diverse your little one’s tastes are compared to your own.
This last November, while preparing to perform for a group of second graders, the crowd began to chant, “We want the blues, we want the blues . . .” I had not expected them to know anything about the blues, but then I remembered my own passion for it as a child. I used to sing along with my dad, “Well-a since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell, down at the end of lonely street at Heartbreak Hotel . . .” And my all-time favorite movie scene was when Albert Collins tells Elizabeth Shue that nobody leaves his club without singing da blues (Adventures In Babysitting). The Babysitting Blues is still one of Hollywood’s better moments and one of my favorite songs.
The school assembly was great fun and a great lesson for future programs. When we gave the kids what they wanted ( mostly rock and blues), they went wild. When we gave them other types of music their interest began to wane. The only exceptions were songs they were intimately familiar with, such as movie themes. Though we are in the south, the only country the kids responded to were the really rocked up tunes. So if you need help making music selections, turn the radio up and watch your kids. What kind of songs make them bob their heads, tap their feet, sway their arms? What songs do they easily pick up the lyrics to? Are they having fun or getting bored? Your kids are the barometer, watch for the signs. Before long, both parent and child will form a new and lasting appreciation for music.
In addition to the bonding experience, you are helping your child to overcome insecurities, feel more comfortable with who they are, and though unaware, they are learning. Who would have known it – Hendrix was making us smarter! Sounds too good to be true, but recent research shows that children introduced to the keyboard develop an exceptional ability to use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously. The brains of these children have a greater number of neural connections than that of the average child. These students also develop into above average math students. Regular kids, not musical geniuses. The evidence is so compelling that New York city has fashioned their curriculum after this model and teaches every child to play.
This is not about becoming a famous rock star or pop diva. Music time is about your love for your child and the power music has to unite and to teach. It is also about memories. Music has an ability to help you recall moments you might otherwise have forgotten. Ten years from now, a song will come on and your child will think, I remember when we sang this together, danced to this togther, laughed at this together. Do not underestimate the power of music night. You can nourish a lasting relationship with your children while mapping their brains for success. So the next time the kids beg you to and play with them, turn up the radio, get out the guitar, and have a dancing or singing contest!
