A Man’s Guide to Effective Listening in a Relationship

“Are you LISTENING to me?” Carol said. Bob replies, “Yes, I heard you”. But can you tell me what Carol just said Bob? Don’t worry Bob. You’re not alone. While Carol stomps off into the other room to fetch you a pillow and blanket for your night on the couch, read on. This article will give you some tips to help you not only HEAR what she is saying but to LISTEN to her as well. We’ll get you back in the bedroom in no time.

Look Into the Person’s Eyes

When someone is talking to you, look them straight in the eyes. (unless you’re driving) Looking at the TV or reading is not a good thing at all. Use your head.

Clear Your Mind

This is so important. One thing we tend to do as men while our wife or girlfriend is talking to us, we tend to (instead of really listening) think of what we are going to say next time we have a chance to speak. Boy does this make things worse in the case of a serious discussion or argument. Women aren’t ignorant at all when it comes to this. Looking in her eyes will do you NO GOOD if your wheels are spinning because you’re thinking of what you’re going to say. She’ll catch on to what you’re doing really quick. Clear your mind man! Concentrate on what SHE is saying.

Reflective Listening

When she says something like, “I want us to do more things as a couple”. You could reply with something like, “You want us to go for walks or picnics or take a weekend getaway just the two of us.”. What you’re doing there is agreeing with her but you’re also letting her know that you are LISTENING. Don’t do it too much and with everything she says or you’ll sound a bit condescending but just a bit of this can have a big effect.

Elaborate

Add to what she is saying. If she asks you, “Does this dress make me look fat?”. Don’t just say “No”. Elaborate a bit. Tell her to spin around for your, tell her the dresses colors bring out her beautiful eyes. Don’t over do it or it will sound false.

Arguments

Good listening skills are essential during an argument. I know it’s difficult when you’re mad but LISTEN to what she is saying. Easier said than done I know but the whole point of an argument is to reach a resolution of some sort. If you’re not listening to her, the argument is doomed to repeat itself.

There’s nothing more frustrating for your lady in her relationship to talk about something serious and you aren’t listening. It makes her feel like you don’t care about her feelings. That hurts her. And it gives her the impression that you just don’t care. That makes her angry. What good can come from that?