How to Get an Unwanted Friend Off Your Couch

“Friends in need are friends indeed.” How many times have you heard some say this? A bunch, right? We have to wonder how many of the people who say this have actually had a friend in a sticky position who is in need of a place to stay for a couple nights. The unfortunate situation places a friend on the line and at the expense of another. There is a breaking point of how long a friendship will last under the right circumstances, and the friendly gesture of giving someone a bed and a place to live for an ambiguous amount of time almost certainly goes sour. Here are some guidelines to those who have ever had the burden and some suggestions for the rest to keep you away from letting someone over-stay their welcome.

1.Take control of the use of power in your home and try to ration your food.

People unwilling tend to leave lights on or run your TV when they stay over. When you get the electric bill you’ll see what I’m talking about. There are probably all sorts of gadgets in your house that run off electricity and who knows what your guest will be playing with, so try and monitor the use of electronics and running water. It’s kind of like babysitting but instead of infants it’s your peers. Food is another key item that tends to come up missing or gets eaten right in front of you. Keep all the good stuff in a safe place in your room and ration out the rest you feel comfortable giving out. This may sound ridiculous, but you’ll be greatful when you’re enjoying the last pop-tart in isolated satisfaction.

2.Know when to say “No!”

There is only so much genorosity that one can give out. You are obviously a nice and giving person if you let someone stay with you who needs help, but sometimes that loving attitude is taken as a weakness. Don’t let the person at hand take advantage of you! You have to draw the line somewhere and remember that it’s OK to say no every once in a while!
If a person is at a point low enough to need a place to stay, then they obviously don’t have a car! They are going to want to go and do things just as much as you and undoubtedly may ask you to take them somewhere. Do they need a ride somewhere and you have to be to work in an hour? Just say no!

The inevetable question of the certain person staying longer is always going to be lingering in your mind. There will be a point when you have to make a decision of whether or not you want them to still stay with you. Do they want to know if they can stay just a little bit longer than expected while you are getting anxious to get them out? Just say no! And don’t feel guilty for doing it. This is your place, your time, and your priority. YOU are doing THEM a favor. You have to take the upperhand and make sure that they are not just using you. There is very thin line between a friend and a free-loader.

3.Keep your eyes open

If you’re letting someone stay with you, odds are you feel a certain amount of trust towards this person and are comfortable knowing they may be left alone for small periods of time when you are not there. No matter how much trust you instill into a person, there is still always that “What if?” You never know what can happen when you’re out, and you don’t want anyone snooping through your stuff. What if you were to return to find this person snooping through your underwear? You would be pretty weirded out. I’m not saying your friend is a pervert, but what if? What if certain things started to come up missing every time you left? You’re friend may not be a theif, but when you have no place to stay those sort of things become second nature. Always keep your eyes open and leave your friend alone as little as possible. Keep the frame of mind that this person is good and would never rip you off, but always be aware and supervise his moves. When something gets damaged or stolen, 4 out of 5 times it’s by someone you know. And who better to suspect than the person you’re letting sleep on your couch?!

You don’t even need to have someone spending the night at your place to feel the effects of a free loader. There is always that pesky neighbor or crude friend that have the habit of making random stops by just to “see what you’re up to” and end up staying half the night making themselves at home and helping themselves to food in your humble aboad. Odds are you’re too nice of a person to say anything and this so-called friend will be more than happy to crash your pad and conflict with your schedule. How do you mention something without being rude and destroying your nice guy image? It might take some deep pondering and a strong imagination, but use these helpful tips to break the news easier and without feeling guilty.

*Tell the person that you just got a call from a relative who will be in town for the next week and they will be needing a place to stay. The free loader will realize the priority you have with relatives and will take this as an eviction notice, hopefully vacating the premises within 24 hours.

*Say that you will be going on a trip for 2 weeks and that it’s completely out of the question if the person at hand stays while you’re gone because the landlord checks the rooms when the renters leave on vacation. Hopefully the pad crasher gets the idea and in fear of a snooping landlord leaves without a hitch.

*Make a fake eviction notice and put it on the door. Pack a box or two and ask if your friend would leave before you because you want to be alone on the last few nights you get to stay at your place. Just make sure this person gets out of the area and won’t be back to bother you anytime soon.

*Pay your free-loader to leave. Make him an offer he can’t refuse. Buy him a bus ticket and give him some spending cash to get him on his feet.

There are plenty of ways to rid of someone who is on your last wit’s end and who is over-staying their welcome. You can use any of these stories if you’re desperate or even fabricate your own. The most effective way to get someone out though is being honest and telling them to get the #%@! out. A true friend would never burden you for a long period of time and would understand when enough is enough and find another place on his own. A true friend would truly be uncomfortable with putting you out and would be as curtious as he could be while staying at your place. But as most of us know, this is not always the case. There is no easy way of trying to tell someone it is time to go, so we must use our best judgement and do whatever fits the situation. Sometimes we have to wait for just the right time to break the news, but other times it comes out better when it is spur of the moment.

Remember that your house is not a hotel. This is the place where you live. You pay rent, you pay bills, you make the decisions. If you want some advice on how to not let this happen to you, the easiest thing to do is stop being the nice guy and don’t let anyone stay over! So the next time someone comes to you with this pitiful elaborate story and has nowhere else to go, say “Friends in need are Free-Loaders indeed!”

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