Recreational Dating in America
In the midst of a paternity dispute a female plaintiff on a popular daytime courtroom show made this comment: “I’m not a whoreâÂ?¦ I’ve only been with six men in all my life. Now how many women can say that?” Am I missing something? Or is there some kind of disconnect here? Recreational attitudes about sexual intimacy lead to recreational dating which leads to recreational sexual relations and recreational STD’s and recreational pregnancies and recreational marriages and recreational divorces and recreational abortions.
We teach our kids at a very young age that as Americans we live in a ‘free’ country. And all too often our actions demonstrate that ‘freedom’ translates into ‘freedom from responsibility’. We have ‘freedom from the responsibility’ of being courteous and polite. While American citizens and soldiers have been fighting and dying in defense of freedom all over the world, we have ‘freedom from the responsibility’ of being active participants in our own democracy. We have ‘freedom from the responsibility’ of keeping our environment free of the millions of miles of trash and litter thrown up and down our rivers, steams, streets and highways, etc., etc. Unfortunately, this ‘recreational’ culture of ‘freedom from responsibility’ permeates every aspect of American society.
But, perhaps nothing is as dangerous to the continued survival of American society, the continued emotional well-being of the youth of America and the continued existence of the American family than the continued downward erosion of any sense of responsibility regarding the process of bringing human beings into this world. Because, regardless of institutionalized ignorance and denial, at the end of the day that is what we’re talking about. Sexual intercourse is going to result in a baby, or an abortion.
For all too many, I will even go as far as to say the overwhelming majority, the process has denigrated into a plethora of loathsome recreational behaviors designed only with mindless, empty pleasure and selfish exploitation in mind without a thought of the immediate consequences or the unavoidable calamities down the road. Would you like to be born into, or as a result of, what many folks are pandering as ‘good clean fun’? Even worseâÂ?¦ aborted?
One does not have to search far on the internet to uncover the disdain some have for America’s lack of values. The international furor over the Natalie Holloway incident has shed some rather unsavory light with questions such as “What is a young girl doing drinking and getting into a car with four strange men? Actually it’s cultural. It is winked-off behavior in all too many quarters. It is even glorified in the media, on television, in the movies and behind (not so closed) doors. That is until it backfires. Then the hypocrisy flows like a river.
We have even suffered through the ignominy of an American President defiling the Oval Office of the Whitehouse with a promiscuous affair. Now we have six, seven and eight year olds engaging in oral sex with Presidential sanction and pretending ‘its not really sexâÂ?¦’. We have idiot ‘experts’ running around espousing ‘healthy open relationships’ and ‘safe sex’ mumbo-jumbo.
The photos and videos of Spring Break behavior should absolutely horrify. What we are seeing are not just the future leaders in business, medicine and government, but future husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. Can you imagine having to explain such behavior to a future husband, a future wife or your future children?
These (destructive) fantasies have real-life consequences that fairytale solutions will not ever even begin to address. All too many a couple have thrown themselves on the altar of this lifestyle vowing immunity to its influence and have learned the hard way that immunity is far easier verbalize than to realize.
Perhaps much could be said to validate this behavior if it made good on its promises of self-fulfillment, lasting joy and inner peace. But has it?
Let’s just say you meet someone. You date. You marry. Some time down the road photos or videos eye-witness accounts show up of your wife or husband in the thralls of raunchy Spring Break behavior. Now what? Or you find out she’s had several abortions? Now what? Or he has a kid or two from his reckless youth that will hamstring your finances for decades. Now what? You want kids, but she can’t have them because of the residual effects of STD’s. Now what? He has contracted herpes from a pre-marital partner. Now what?
58 percent of children aged 14 to 18 live in households other than an intact “first marriage/two-parent married family. 58 percent! Each year there are over 1 million abortions performed in America. There are studies which link sex toy use to recreational drug use, risky sexual behavior and sexually transmitted disease. More than 31 million Americans have gotten herpes through sexual contact. Millions more are infected but have not had or noticed the symptoms. Estimates range as high as 65 million Americans infected with STD’s with 15 million new cases each year. Authorities have known for years that children of single-parent households do not do as well in school and are much more likely to smoke cigarettes, engage in pre-marital sex themselves, abuse drugs and get involved in crimeâÂ?¦ yet we continue to promote this (fulfilling, joyous, tranquil) insanity at all levels of American society.
Federal and state governments spend an estimated $150 billion per year to subsidize and sustain single-parent families while only $150 million is spent to strengthen the marriage institution. Thus, for every $1,000 spent to deal with the aftermath of family disintegration, only $1 is spent to prevent family disintegration. More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs and their complications and this figure does not include HIV.
A strategy to preserve marriage by reducing divorce and illegitimacy and the prevention of health issues related to promiscuity not only will be good for children and society, but in the long run will save money!
There is no logical reason for people to date who are not seriously anticipating marriage in less than 18 months and anticipate using the majority of that time combing their finances and making living arrangements as well as arranging their ceremonies, (if such ceremonies apply). For the most part, this is not practical in American culture. Not because of inherent problems with the marital institution, but because of inherent problems with American culture when it comes to preparing people for marriage. (This getting to know each other stuff is a farce because it is almost a unanimous truth that neither of the individuals have gotten to know themselves first. Most are not dedicated to the institution of marriage, nor are they dedicated to the community and society that will feed, clothe and shelter that marriage. It is a selfishly blind recreational arrangement designed, (or un-designed), to fail. And it does.) Our religious institutions as well as our social institutions and the educational system all bear some of the blame. An unbiased look at contemporary American culture would reveal an anti-marriage, anti-family vent*. But if this is another lesson in which we have to learn that simply throwing money at a problem will not resolve it� it may very well be our last lesson we learn as a society.
*(I am as equally in favor of gay and lesbian marriage as I am equally against gay and lesbian promiscuity.)
