Talking Sex with Your Partner
Acknowledge the truth. If you or your partner feels that something is wrong or lacking in your sex life, then there is a problem and it should be acknowledged. Do not, however, discuss the issue before or after sex. This causes a world of misunderstandings that can be avoided if you just chose a different time.
Don’t blame your partner for what he/she is doing or isn’t doing and chose your words wisely when discussing those issues. Instead of saying that your partner never does this or that to you, tell your partner how you’d like it to happen more often and how it feels. Let your partner know why you like something and how good it feels. Use your emotions.
Write down things you’d like to discuss with your partner ahead of time.
Reassure your partner of your love and commitment and that you truly want to give your partner pleasure as well as receive pleasure.
Ask your partner questions about how he/she likes to be touched or made love too. You might be surprised at what your partner really wants. Don’t let this shock you but accept that your partner has desires and fantasies too.
Never get defensive or argumentative. This will set you back further than you thought you were before the discussion. Decide ways that you can negotiate his/her desires along with your own.
Try to encourage your partner to masturbate, even if you are in bed together and too tired for sex. Masturbation can be a healthy release of tension without placing tension on the other partner. Masturbation can also clue you into erogenous zones that you may not have been aware of. Enjoy your partners’ sexuality.
Most of all just lighten up a little. Sex should be a fun and playful adventure.
Be willing to try new things. There may be things that neither of you simply want to do, but you can compromise so that both of you get the pleasure you want.
Always reassure your partner of your love and commitment. Open up to each other, be honest and respectful and your sex life will become as blissful as you desire.
