How to Prepare the Next Guardian for Raising Your Special Needs Child
If the child has both parents, and one parent tends to the child more frequently than the other, it’s a good idea to leave a notebook behind for the remaining parent. The book should include all information pertinent to the child, whether you think the other parent knows the info already or not.
It’s important to make arrangements for a future permanent guardian, like a relative or good friend. Have a back-up person that is willing to take over should the first choice be unable to provide for the child.
If you’re the one and only parent, you’ll need to prepare a notebook for the future guardian. One thing that should be stated in the notebook is the child’s medical history. List current and previous doctors, hospitalizations with dates and exact nature of the stay, dentist phone numbers, and special medications including doses and preferred pharmacies. The list should include information about previous allergic reactions to medications, any former surgeries, and any severe injuries from the past, like broken bones or frequent ear infections.
Many special needs kids receive SSI or Disability payments from the government. Include this information, along with a copy of the child’s social security card, and any other insurance info. If any money has been saved in an account for the child, include this info as well.
Some special needs kids, as well as regular kids, have foods they absolutely hate and ones which are their favorites. Make a list of your child’s favorite foods, foods he hates, food combinations and so forth. Make the list over a period of time rather than trying to sit down and remember them all.
Rituals are very important to some special needs kids. Break the normal routine of the day and you can have a real fight on your hands. List particular rituals, like bedtime stories, favorite toys that calm, sleeping habits, and the like. Be sure and list things that upset the child as well as things that may calm him down. Something like a favorite fork or book can be omitted and throw the child all out of whack.
You know your child better than anyone. If your child is an adult you may need an entirely new section to cover personal things like what kind of help he or she may need in the bathroom. A special needs woman, for instance, may not be able to take care of her monthly needs as other women can. Even though she may not be able to take care of her own needs, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel embarrassment.
It’s good to have a section giving hints to help the new guardian know how the child is feeling. Over the years, you’ve noticed certain looks or actions that indicate there’s a feeling of sadness, excitement, nervousness, or embarrassment. These little tips can help the new guardian quite a lot.
Remember to include hints for relieving your child’s anxiety. Just because your child can’t express his grief, now that you’re gone, doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you and ache for your return. Some things might make your child feel better, albeit temporarily, and you’re the one who knows what these things may be. Possibly a photo album with pictures of the family as it used to be, maybe a favorite activity that always gets his mind off of his sadness, or possibly just a favorite snack that makes him happy and content for a few hours.
The list of things your child likes or doesn’t like, needs or won’t tolerate can be fairly long. Try to add to the notebook when possible and update it yearly. Try to include various categories, like friends, enemies (maybe he’s afraid of the mailman), animals and pets, foods, medical, favorite games, things that make him or her giggle, favorite stores, favorite park activities, and so on.
When you think about leaving your special needs child behind, it’s very disconcerting but you can ease your own mind and make it much easier for the new guardian when you prepare a guide book to assist.
