How to Know When You’re Settling

Drive-thrus, internet shopping and express lanes are all evidence that most people hate to wait. But aren’t there still some things in life worth waiting for? I recommend true love. Many have fallen prey to settling when it comes to relationships. They feel that true love is not worth the wait, and therefore accept “Mr. He’ll Do” or “Mrs. She’ll Do,”cheating themselves out of the possibility for a lifetime of happiness. There are 5 ways to tell when you’re settling:

1. You cannot comfortably rave about him or her.
Whenever you experience something wonderful, you want to share it with everyone around you. Ladies, think about the last time you reaped the benefits of a great sale, and men, think of the time when you witnessed the best play in sports history. You could hardly contain your excitement as you shared the news. You should be just as eager to share about finding your mate.

2. You feel something is missing.
This does not refer to those obvious character faults, such as abuse or inconsideration. This is an undeniable feeling that persists, even when things are going well. You may never be able to put your finger on it, but it is something that churns relentlessly in the pit of your stomach.

3. You experience stagnancy in the relationship.
Whether you’re talking about your personal business or your social relationships, you only invest time in things you value. If you’re involved in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere, that’s probably an indication that at least one of you does not think the relationship is worth fostering, and eventually it will die.

4. You find yourself compromising your standards.
This occurs when your partner makes you feel uncomfortable expressing how you feel or what you believe and therefore you adapt to how they would have you think or feel about things. If you feel strongly about something, no one should make you feel guilty about it or seek to change you (Unless, of course, it’s an unhealthy habit).

5. You recognize self-esteem issues.
When you are involved in a relationship that is not gratifying, and you choose to remain a part of it, you will be begin to doubt your ability to make wise decisions. You will ask yourself, “Why don’t I believe I care enough about myself to get out of an unhappy relationship? This will lead to frustration that you will direct inwardly.

So, you say you don’t want to settle. Part of the process of waiting is self-reflection. Date yourself. Figure out if you’re the kind of person you want to attract. Examine what’s important to you. Waiting does not necessarily mean no dating. Continue to go out and mingle, but keep your relationships casual until you are confident that it has lasting potential. Remember, the more time you invest in someone who is not right for you, the more attached you become, and the easier it becomes to settle.

True love may not come as fast as a double-cheese burger at McDonald’s or a Louis Vuitton purse ordered online, but the benefits are everlasting. And the question you must ask yourself is, “Am I worth the wait?”