Opie and Anthony to Replace Roth for CBS Broadcasting

David Lee Roth was a horrible morning DJ, but you could’nt help feeling bad for him. I personally sat through several hours worth of listening in the car just because I was worried that nobody else out there was tuning in. The experince was not unlike going to the dentist or, dare I say, the DMV. It was depressing to think that the former lead singer of Van Halen had been reduced to doing hack radio where, at the very best, he could painstakingly relive his wild times as the man formerly known as “Diamond” as patrons tried not to drive their automobiles into ravines. It was, too putt it lightly, awkward. During the worst parts of the show, Roth would veer into the land of Scott and Todd in the Morning terroritory; with one standard radio gag after another. It was as if I had been transported back to the 80’s and instead of waiting to here the cheesy DJ play a Van Halen tune, the cheesy DJ WAS Van Halen (One could get into an argument here about who was the most important member of Van Halen- Roth or Eddie- but I’m not going to do that. Okay, I will. It was the bass player. Gimme Michael Anthony’s one note bass lines any day of the week, and twice on sunday).

So now it seems the run is over, as Roth’s parent company CBS Broadcasting, have, seemingly, made the move to replace him with “shock jocks” Opie and Anthony. You remember O & A right? When CBS was known as Infinity they fired the duo for airing the sexual noises of two youngers going at it. They fired them because these people were having sex in St. Peter’s Cathedral. My mom had a serious problem with this stunt, and I’m sure alot of mothers out there felt the same way. I myself did not think it was such a big idea, but I am a villanous heathen and should not comment on matters of such social importance.

The deal itself is kind of revolutionary, I guess (inasmuch as any radio contract ever should be described as “revolutionary”, which, in reality, is never). The first three hours of the program will air on the seven stations where Roth is being replaced. These will be a toned down version of the show, on a major delay so that the CBS people can bleep and blurp and cut out any inappropriate material (read: make the show unfunny). And the show wiill air in it’s natural form on XM radio, along with two more hours of wacky hijinks.

I like Opie and Anthony, and I look forward to listening them whenever I can, but seeing as how I am never in my car in the morning, don’t have XM and haven’t listened to the radio while standing still since I was 12- I doubt this will ever happen. I really enjoyed their show when I was in high school and they were on in the afternoons on 102.7 WNEW (I’m not even sure if that radio station even exists anymore which makes me feel incredibaly old at 24). I don’t know what its like anymore. A couple people I vaguely know say that the XM show was pretty funny.

The point is that when Howard Stern bolted for satellite (and towards his impending demise- just my prediction) he kind of killed conventional radio, and perhaps radio in general. First stations stopped playing music and now they can’t even find people to talk. They’re completely lost. Maybe in the future cars will come with an Easy Bake Oven, and instead of giving you tunes or talk shows it will make you breakfast as it plays a stock digitial recording of rain forest sounds. That would be nice.