Mischa Barton is Killed Off on the Season Finale of The OC

So it seems that Mischa Barton died last night on Fox’s hit show, The OC, but you knew that, right? The sort-of-disgruntled starlet had made it vaguely clear that a change of address was, perhaps, in her immediate future; from the sunny shores of southern California to the pearly gates of heaven.

There really wasn’t any other way to get Marissa Cooper out of The OC; she had to die in Ryan’s (actor Benjamin McKenzie) arms on the side of the road as an SUV inexplicably burst into flames. Nobody should be surprised either; The OC cutie had made it crystal clear in the last few weeks that she wanted out. “My character has been through so, so much and there’s really nothing more left for her to do,” she told Access Hollywood.

I hate Mischa Barton and her overly cute English accent. Who does she think she is? If she thinks she can float on good looks and sex appeal alone, well as Judas Priest says, she’s got another thing coming. She broke rule number one when it comes to cheesy teen dramas, don’t give away the ending.

Letting the public know that she was going down was such a cruel and selfish move. The crazy surprise move is the only thing these kind of shows have going for them. Everything revolves around the idea that no matter what happens next, it is sure to be shocking and thoroughly enjoyable in a regrettable, voyeuristic kind of way. Mischa Barton ruined this, and she obviously has no regard for any meaningful, teen drama ideals. And this is why I hate Mishca Barton.

But this is also why I love her. God, why does Mischa Barton have to be such a rebel; I mean, she is such a renegade. The band Styx (the original lineup, not Tommy Shaw’s solo project) should follow Mischa Barton around in a flatbed truck playing their song “Renegade” at a mind blowing volume.

She blatantly pissed on the vehicle that made her famous for no good reason. What is Mischa Barton going to do now? Does Neutrogena pay salary for being beautiful in TV commercials; will she have a paid vacation? Mischa Barton deserves a paid vacation.

I’m sure a lot of people hate Mishca Barton in the same way that French people hate the dude who keeps jumping off the Eiffel Tower. They’re all just jealous. They’re jealous that some people (the beautiful people that Marilyn Manson sung about out) can so easily rise to the top and then fall down to earth for no good reason, and then do it all over again, just for kicks.

So what’s the lesson here? The lesson is that serial, European base jumpers can treat historical objects like Mischa Barton’s career and that we HAVE to be cool with this. But I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that Mischa Barton is hot, Marilyn Manson is smarter than all of us and Styx was a totally underrated band (not just of the 70’s, but of all time).