Why Don’t You Just Get Lost? Thoughts About the ABC Show Lost
I don’t get Lost. You know, ABC’s hit Wednesday night television program, Lost? I don’t get it. I’ve tried to watch it, many a time in fact. I’ve seen a total of about 4 hours and 37 minutes of the show; from at least eleven different episodes. I’ve never seen an episode of Lost in its entirety. I realize that I am in no way, shape, or form qualified to comment on the ABC juggernaut, but I’m going to anyway because, well, that’s my steez.
Watching an episode of Lost is kind of like watching 50 minutes of the movie Armageddon, that is to say if you can sit through 50 minutes of either. I can not. I know a few things about the characters of Lost, let me fill you in on these things:
The Party of Five Dude: This guy seems to be the “leader”, although it’s quite possible that he goes weeks at a time without making an appearance- there are 471 different characters on Lost.
The Dude who Looks Like Major Dad: Nobody else seems to agree that this guy (the older, militarish guy) looks like Gerald McRaney (the CBS star of the sitcom Major Dad). This guy also seems like a central character on Lost, but it’s hard to tell.
The Naughty Hawain Girl or the Girl who got Naughty in Hawaii: This girl (real name Michelle Rodriguez) is something special in the world of Lost, because it seems she is truly lost in two dimensions; in both the literal and firgurative worlds. She is Lost literally (her life is falling apart at the seams). She is Lost literally on Lost (also true). She is Lost figuratively (she is at a crossroads in her career, she could be Laura Flynn Boyle if she wanted to, but will she?). She is figuratevily Lost on Lost (aren’t they all?).
The Fat Guy: This guy won the lottery and there is something really strange about him. But the strangest thing just might be that he is still so fat. How the hell is he so fat if they are Lost on a deserted island. I asked my friend Dan (an avid Lost fan) about this quandary, and he always responds the same way. “There was a lot of food on that plane,” Dan says. “There was like enough food for like, at least several years.”
The Polar Bears: It seems odd to me that a tropical island would have rabies infested, killer polar bears in the jungle, but that’s life on Lost.
My main problem with the show is that I can not except that it is science fiction- or better said: I can not except that hardcore Lost fans won’t admit that it’s science fiction. And because of this fact, I constantly question the believability of any storyline. ABC didn’t have to do this. It seems like a lot of people would have still watched a non sci-fi version of a show about people on a deserted island. ABC could have sold it with a ton of sex and murder; people would’ve watched that version of Lost. But instead of we have a hit show that is far better suited for the late night, cable dimension of the Sci-Fi channel, and not primetime network TV.
I know there are plenty of Lost fans, so please comment; tell me I’m wrong.
