Wedding Traditions

Every wedding tradition has a time-honored reason behind it, a legend, or at least a theory on how it got started. As a bride, you have the option to go along with the tradition or throw it away and start some traditions of your own. The sky is the limit these days.

Let’s start with giving away the bride. In ye olden times, a daughter was, unfortunately, considered one of her father’s possessions, to do with as he saw fit. The ceremony of giving away the bride to the groom was simply one man handing a piece of property over to the next man, to do with as he saw fit. Fortunately for women these days, this is no longer the case, but the father of the bride still gives his daughter away to the groom. But now, this is more a case of the parents of the bride showing acceptance of their daughter’s choice of husband, and giving their blessing on the union.

One of the traditions for the bride is wearing a veil. In ancient times, this was thought to ward off evil spirits. In later centuries, it simply symbolized the bride’s innocence and modesty. According to an old story, the first lace veil was worn by George Washington’s adopted daughter, Nelly Curtis, at her wedding to one of his aides. The story goes that this aide first saw her as she stood behind a lace curtain and was so beguiled by her beauty that he fell madly in love at first sight. So, in the spirit of romanticism made herself a lace veil for the wedding ceremony in honor of their first meeting.

And you’ve heard the old poem:

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue,
And a lucky sixpence in your shoe.

Something old was simply representing the ties to the past and something new as hope for the future. Something borrowed meant some meaningful item borrowed from a dear friend or family member. In order to obtain the good luck from this exchange, it was mandatory that the bride return the item to its owner after the ceremony. Something blue is believed to be an old Israeli custom of brides wearing blue ribbons that symbolized fidelity. The lucky sixpence in your shoe was an old English custom from a bygone era and has been replaced, at least in the United States, with a dime in the bride’s shoe.

So now, you find yourself at the reception and the gorgeous wedding cake. Ever wonder where that tradition came from? Way back in ancient Rome, it was the tradition to break a loaf of wheat bread over the bride’s head. This was supposed to symbolize hope for a fertile and fulfilled life. The guests were allowed to eat the crumbs for good luck. Then in the Middle Ages in England, wedding guests were expected to bring small cakes to the ceremony and as they arrived, they were put into a pile. The bride and groom then stood over this pile and kissed. Later on, though no one knows exactly where or when, the guests began piling up those little cakes and adding frosting, thereby creating the first multi-tiered wedding cake. An even greater mystery is when, where and why the bride and groom began feeding the wedding cake to each other and trying to see who could cram the biggest piece into whose mouth. Whether or not you want to continue this strange tradition is strictly up to you and should be discussed with your own groom prior to the wedding reception. This is a tradition that just begs for hilarity and/or disaster.

Okay, you’ve made it through the ceremony and sharing cake at the reception. Now it’s time for throwing the wedding bouquet and the garter. Legend goes that in 14th century France, the wedding guests used to chase after the bride, ripping off her garter, believing this was good luck. Certainly doesn’t sound like good luck for the bride! The bride, not wanting to be knocked down and mauled by the guests, began removing the garter herself and tossing it to the crowd.

Another belief is that the wedding guests would follow the bride and groom to their bedchamber and help themselves to the garter. The groom in an effort to save his brand new bride, began removing the garter and giving it up voluntarily to those grouped around the bed.

Somewhere in the history of weddings, the bride’s bouquet was added to the toss. The tradition was that whichever woman caught the bouquet was considered the next bride-to-be. The same was believed of the recipient of the garter toss, that he would be the next groom. Fortunately, for the recipients, they weren’t expected to marry each other.

As long as we’re talking about throwing things, let’s discuss the old tradition of throwing rice at the couple, as they leave the reception. This particular tradition started in the Orient, where rice originated and was said to symbolize fertility. They threw the rice at the retreating couple with the hope that it would ensure a marriage that yielded several children.

Nowadays, many churches, synagogues, temples and even city hall do not allow rice to be thrown, as this is a fatal snack for the many types of birds found in the world. Wherever you plan to be married, check the rules and regulations to find out what’s permitted and what’s forbidden. Many couples opt for the innocuous bubbles. These are easily purchased wherever wedding supplies are sold. These small, white bottles are placed at tables near the exit and guests are encouraged to use them as the couple leaves. This way the bride and groom can float away on the good wish bubbles of friends and family.

The wedding is over, the reception is finished and it’s time to head out to your honeymoon. Why, you ask, is it called a honeymoon? Well, in ancient times, Teutonic couples married on the evening of the full moon, then spent the next thirty days drinking toasts to each other with honeyed wine. Very few couples can afford a thirty-day honeymoon these days, feeling privileged to have as much as two weeks.

This is just a few of the many traditions brides all over the world include in their preparations every day. Whether or not you choose to include them in your own celebrations is strictly up to you. There is no hard and fast rule concerning these traditions. Every bride should make up her own rules and have her own traditions if she wishes. The point is to have fun on your ‘special day,’ to remember it all the days of your life. So create your own fond memories and traditions. Congratulations to all the brides out there!