Letting Go When Your Love Interest Won’t Commit

Many of us have dreamed of a magical “getoverthem” pill that we could take twice daily that would cleanse our system of a love interest we can’t seem to shake within a matter of weeks. As ideal as it may sound, it doesn’t exist and probably never will. So now what?

Sometimes the need to let go does not apply to two individuals who are in a committed relationship and then decide to part ways. Oftentimes, it’s a situation where one person has hopes of forming a relationship with an individual who has no intention of taking things to that level. This form of letting go can be even harder because the person feels that if they do, they will never know “what could have been.” This frame of mind causes the individual to hold on to the fantasy of what could be. Any positive comment or gesture made by the non-committal party keeps this dream alive.

I have a friend who is in that situation right now. For over three years she has been holding on to the possibility of taking her “close friendship” with a man to the next level. Aside from the fact that friends and family have tried to convince her that the committed relationship she desires with him won’t happen, she continues to allow herself to emotionally tied to him.

Frankly, if a person continues to offer excuses as to why they do not want to be in a relationship with you over a period of months or years, then it’s never going to happen. And why would you want to be with someone who has made it clear by actions, words or otherwise that he/she does not want to commit?

The best way to approach this situation is through 3 steps to STOP, DROP and ROLL

STOP all communication and contact with the individual. By doing so, you avoid giving him/her the opportunity to feed your desire.

DROP the fantasy. Remove your rose-colored glasses and look at the situation for what it is…nonexistent

ROLL on with your life. Though you may not be able to see it at the time, there is someone else who will embrace the opportunity to be involved in a meaningful and commited relationship with you.

If a person is not willing to claim you as their one and only, you should not waste your time trying to convince them that they are wrong. You can no longer put your life on hold while opportunities pass you by. Go back to the basics: STOP, DROP and ROLL.