Soccer is More Than a Game

Oh the humanity…there are 100,000 people dancing a singing, they are jumping a round hugging their grandparents, their children, and even people they don’t know. What has brought on this foolishness? What has grown men crying and nations glued to their televisions? Is it the Super Bowl? Is it the World Series? No, it’s the World Cup.

Wait, the World Cup? You mean a soccer tournament held once every four years? Why should anyone care about soccer? It’s a boring game where no one ever scores. Why would anyone get excited about that?

Well, I will tell you since you asked. The World Cup is easily the most difficult tournament in the world to win. You think March Madness is a big deal. It doesn’t take two years to qualify for March Madness and a good thing too because the typical American sports fan doesn’t have that much patience. And that is the reason the typical American sports fan doesn’t watch soccer.

Patience, anticipation, the climax of a goal being scored. It kinda sounds like sex doesn’t it. And who doesn’t like sex?

Soccer is the world’s game for a number of reasons. The most rational is it is economically the cheapest sport to participate in. And for the many poorer countries in the world that does make a difference. Also anyone can play soccer. Children like to run and kick the ball around, it passes the time and when they get old enough to take the game seriously, they can decide if they want to dedicate themselves to the sport. Also the rules are pretty simple, kick the ball into the net you get one point. People do not have to speak the same language, there is not a lot of discussion, just play.

So lets get back to the 100,000 people dancing and signing in orgasmic bliss. National pride is a huge reason the World Cup is seen world wide as the greatest sporting event by many people who think that Jordan is a small country next to Egypt. (Which it is.)

Civil Wars have been stopped, it is a national holiday in some countries when there team plays, and the Government of Ghana will pay each player on its National Team $40,000 in incentives for its two victories. (Now I do not know what the exchange rate is but I am think $40,000 in Ghana is going to go a little further than it would in New York.)

Soccer doesn’t suck. It is called football around the world because it is played with your feet. It kind of makes sense really. Soccer players may be the most fit athletes around. This is debatable of course, beach volleyballers are in great shape, basketball players may be the best overall athletes, and I am not taking anything away from swimmers, but soccer players don’t get much of a break in a sport with no time outs, commercial breaks, and only allowing three subs per match.

It is true there is not a lot of scoring in soccer. This makes every goal extremely important. The reason 100,000 people go nuts when a goal is scored is because it may be the only one. Why is it so difficult to score? Well, there are 11 trained, fit, and talented players on the other team trying to keep you from doing so and you are not allowed to get behind them until the ball is played to you. And have you been watching this World Cup. So far there has only been one 0-0 draw. Teams are scoring goals, well everyone except the United States I am sorry to say.

I love how people who do not like soccer criticize the game by saying its boring. These are the same people who say baseball is exciting. Now I like both sports, don’t get me wrong but I can get just as much sleep watching a three and half hour baseball game even with a lot of runs than I can a 90 minute soccer match that at least I know when its going to end. Here is another thing about baseball. The best games, are the ones with only a few runs scored. Pitcher’s duel’s are much more exciting games because so much is riding on every pitch. It’s the same with soccer. If the games were 11-9. Seeing a goal would not be a big deal. The games are usually 1-0, 2-1, goals are hugely important.

I do not expect people to jump on the soccer bandwagon, especially now that the U.S. is out. All, I am saying is understand the game before you criticize. Better yet, go to Brazil or just hang out with Brazilians and you will see the beautiful game and know why they are so passionate about it. Of Course it doesn’t hurt to have the best team in the world to root for, but Brazilians do not just go to watch a soccer game. They go, play drums, dance, sing and probably have sex though out the game. I have witness everything but the sex and I can tell the Brazilians are having more fun at their sporting events than we are.

It’s the same reason college sports are so much better than professional sports, the passion of the fans, the excitement and anticipation of the event is what make soccer more than just a game. If you ever get the chance, visit a southern college town on a Saturday afternoon, go to a basketball game in Kentucky or Indiana, see a triple crown horse race, and see a soccer game on foreign soil and maybe you will begin to see what they all have in common is more than a game.

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