A Guide for Clueless Husbands Living with Wives Going Through Menopause

My approaching the beginning stages of menopause is not easy for me, but I am realizing that it isn’t a laugh riot for my husband, either. He has witnessed my occasional transformation from the calm, easygoing bride he married to a temporarily raving banshee who gets upset over the most mundane things.

I have tried showing him pamphlets, articles and websites that explain what things a woman who is starting the “change” goes through, both physically and psychologically. It doesn’t register at all with him, however, especially when all he can see is the sofa cushion I just hurled across the room because he threw out my bottle of Downy Wrinkle Remover by mistake.

I felt the beginnings of this unwanted metamorphosis about 3 years ago, when my cycles became irregular, when hair started sprouting in strange places I don’t care to mention, when incontinence started causing me to make a pee run every time my husband turned a faucet on and, particularly, when I found myself getting grumpier than a bear sitting on hot coals.

“You just don’t even try to understand!” I have wailed, more than once, when hubby dearest committed yet another “infraction” against my sensitive spirit, like failing to hang the bathroom towel back the way I had it or forgetting to remind me that Dr.Phil is on.

“Is ANYTHING I do right anymore?” he has asked, totally frustrated after one of my impromptu tirades.

One thing you men might want to remember. When your woman is in the midst of one of these hormonal “episodes”, don’t make it worse by asking rhetorical questions or muttering an under-the-breath commentary, ’cause we will go off!

If possible, try to say nothing, just smile and nod and agree with her, even if what she says is dumber than Paris Hilton’s answers on an IQ test. The moment will eventually pass and, probably within an hour or so, she will likely be back almost to normal.

My husband HAS learned a defense strategy to take me down and that is ..making me laugh. It is almost impossible to keep screaming at somebody when you are being tickled or being told a corny joke.

Menopause, I realize, is an inevitable occurrence in a woman’s life and should be embraced and adjusted to with dignity and patience. (I think I heard this somewhere from a MALE physician.) Sometimes, though, I still go off the deep end.

So, if you happen to be in my presence during one of my “menopausal moments,” launch into a good joke immediately or run away and hide, quickly!