How to Handle Flirtatious Tendencies or Sexual Harassment at Work
It happens just about every single day, sexual harassment! Many office employees are aware of how it happens, but generally fail to confront or report it. Every day, in many offices spread over the planet, frequent sexual gestures; comments and even the glare-stare down happen. What do we do?
As a new employee you generally have to read that thick “Welcome new employee” packet that covers on the topics of unacceptable behavior such as sexual harassment and/or the consequences that follow inappropriate conduct. And generally you mumble to yourself, “Yeah, yeah I know about all this stuff, when is my official start date?”
Unless you are a committed & dedicated husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, respectful and a lawful citizen or just totally fear others, you may be the culprit who violates this ancient rule. Yes, the temptation for some appear very tempting and hard to disregard. Then there are of course others who plainly just don’t care much.
Unwanted touching of any sort can be considered a sexual harassment. This is one that generally doesn’t get much airtime; ironically, it’s the most common. Regina is a beautiful single mother in her late 30s, Ernest is a devoted and honest husband in his late 20s with his back turned towards his computer. Regina, Ernest’s supervisor, generally pinches him on his elbow every Monday morning after missing him over the course of the weekend. Ernest, although a gentle and mild mannered being is flattered by his Supervisor’s “tenderness” is a bit bothered by this act but uncertain how to address it.
A certain closeness to another employee or person in particular can be a sign of flirtatious and sexual behavior. Rachel, stunningly sexy and 31, is the new marketing rep in a nearby office just outside of Lamberg-Jade, New York. Every morning she makes her rounds to the cafeteria to deposit her healthy vegetable lunch in the fridge. And every morning, Michael, 28, awaits her return just to converse with her up close.
“How are you, Rachel?” Michael asks standing ever closely.
“âÂ?¦ I am doing, well.” Rachel responds timidly.
” That’s good, you seem real nervous, is something wrong?”
“âÂ?¦ No, um.. I don’t think so. Hey, I have to go. Catch ya later.”
” Yup.”
It’s apparent that although Rachel is beautiful and single, she is uncomfortable by Michael’s antics. And although bothered, she isn’t the type to particularly prefer getting others into trouble. She waits patiently as the weeks past hoping Michael will shift his attention elsewhere.
Dominique, 26, is a light-brown eyed, honey flavored skin bombshell who works in accounting. Just the mere sight of her in heels and a ponytail can stop traffic and make a homosexual gentleman change his mind. She’s single and enjoys her young life and new career after a 4-year college completion. Upon her trip back to her office, she drops her eyeglass case on the stairwell and bends to retrieve it. Wesley, 52, takes notice of the bent over frame of Dominique and makes his say,
“Damn, girl! If I didn’t get married 20 years ago. “
” (Laughing) I am sorry, what did you just say!?”
“Nothing, (quickly exits out of the building).
Dominique, like Rachel, is flattered by Wesley’s comment, but also somewhat offended by this older gentleman’s tone and disrespect. Dominique is involved a steady relationship and feels she knows her place. She disregards Wesley’s comments and continues her day; only acknowledging the fact that it was a ‘comment.’
These are all signs of sexual harassment, be they small or not. It’s very essential that we as people take into consideration how our peers around us feel about this type of behavior. Unfortunately many of us don’t and that is why this type of behavior occurs. It isn’t advised that one takes drastic steps in assuring the harasser faces termination or other punishments, unless the offense is severe! Sometimes, all it may take is a simple sit-down with the offender.
After a month of uncertainty in his choice of words, Ernest gains enough confidence to sit down with his supervisor, one on one, and discuss his concerns.
“Ms. Regina, I just want to say that I really think you are a nice young woman, you show me the utmost respect here at _________ Inc and I greatly appreciate it. But its just, I feel kind of bothered sometimes that you always pinch me after every single weekend. I just don’t think that’s necessary. I am not sure my Wife would really appreciate if I were to let you continue to do this, can you please not do that anymore.”
It’s respectful, it’s honest, what can Regina say?
“âÂ?¦Sure, Ernest, and I do apologize if I have been making you feel uncomfortable.”
Regina would be less likely to disrespect Ernest because of him standing tall for himself. The fact that Ernest has confronted her would make her much more careful around him and maybe she’ll begin to keep her hands at her side.
On Tuesday Morning, after a horrific weekend, Rachel seems to have found in herself a newfound confidence; a banish of her old timid ways. She throws “pep” in her step as she power walks to the cafeteria to deposit her lunch. Once again, Michael awaits her return for his close up greet.
” Good morning Rachel, how are you today?” (Standing ever close)
” Good, Michael, how are you?”
” Great, how was yourâÂ?¦. ” (Moves in even closer/Rachel cuts him off)
” Michael, do you always have to stand so close to me every morning I come in here?”
“âÂ?¦ IâÂ?¦um..”
“Well I hope you know that is a form of sexual harassment, right?”
“I am sorry??”
“It’s a form of sexual harassment. Did you hear that?
“âÂ?¦YesâÂ?¦IâÂ?¦IâÂ?¦I am really sorry.”
“It’s alright, Michael, you can’t just go around standing so close to people like that.”
“I guess I got kind of carried away, it’ll never happen again.”
“Well I certainly hope so.”
Maybe Rachel’s approach was a little more dramatic than Ernest. She cut right down to the chase and let Michael know that she was dissatisfied with him. As a result, Michael had no choice but to respect her. Rachel isn’t generally a moody or low-tolerance type of sista, but she really felt she was being pushed far. She handled it well.
Dominique is still beautiful out of this world, but when she gets upset or feels taken advantage of her beauty changes to straight up seriousness. She hurls insults, tilts her eyebrows and begins pointing her small fingers. Wesley catches the short end of the stick on Thursday morning on his way a executive meeting. A clumsy beautiful goddess in Dominique, once again drops her eyeglass case. Wesley slowly walks behind to catch a glimpse as he has his say for his last!
“Whoa Mama! If only.. If only..”
“WESLEY.. I am not in the mood for any of your bullsh*t today okay?”
“(Smilingly guilty) What do you mean? What did I say?”
“You know what you said, you say it every morning! Don’t play with me!”
“Oh that? Why are you taking it so serious?”
“Ok, maybe I’ll tell your wife the next time at church and we can see how serious she thinks it is.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“I would and I will if you don’t stop.”
“Alright look, I am sorry okay!? I won’t do it again.”
“Okay! I’ll hold you to your word.”
Dominique, beautiful but probably the most fire bound amongst the 3 offended examples. I give all three an A for the efforts of addressing the situation directly. Sometimes all it takes is a warning to get the other person to acknowledge their mistake.
There is no problem with addressing the issue to the appropriate management, but some matters can be actually be handled before doing so.
In other situations more extreme, a further route may be necessary. But before going around and accusing one of sexual harassment, be certain to closely observe behavior patterns and come correct. Sexual harassment can be a sensitive subject. Many ways of our communication that take place in day-to-day affairs are actually offensive. We just fail to notice these things right away.
For those who still feel unconvinced about the idea of sexual harassment, be smart about it, think about it, and understand the many great risks you face.
