Grief Over a Siblings Death

Your brother or sister has died. You get the call and are instantly numb. The first few days are surreal. The next few weeks go by and it feels as though you are just watching life go by. Nothing seems to help. You can’t fall asleep, and when you do, you don’t want to wake up. You have never experienced anything like this. This is the beggining of your grieving period. Grief, theroretically, has many stages. Grief is the combination of sorrow, strong emotion, and the resulting confusion that comes from losing someone important to you. Not only do you mourn the loss of that person, but you mourn for yourself.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, author of “On Death and Dying.” identifies the stages as:
-Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
-Anger (why is this happening to me?)
-Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
-Depression (I don’t care anymore)
-Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

A lesser known definition of the stages of grief is described by Dr. Roberta Temes in the book, “Living With An Empty Chair – a guide through grief.” Temes describes three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss. They are:
-Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
-Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)
-Reorganization (re-entry into a more ‘normal’ social life.)

By either observation, grieving is something that takes time. It is not easy and can not be taken for granted. In alot of instances, medical help for anxiety and/or depression is required. Grieving is not just a psyhcological, but also a physical stress. Do not be afraid to seek medical help.

Everyone grieves differently. It almost seems like a new life beginning. Some people tend to reach out for support. Others receed to seclusion. Over time, support and identifying with others going through the same emotions you are will help. There are many sites supporting the grieving process. Look for Message boards or web sites linking you to people relative to your situation.

You will never get over your loss, but life will become more tollerable. Time, support, and, for some, medication will help deal with your loss. Remember, respect ,and appriciate your memories. Life will obtain an amount of normalcy over time.