New Relationships: Are You Ready for Sex?

There is no specific time when sex must commence; some people prefer to get it out of the way during the first few dates, while others wait several weeks, months or years. New relationships are based on much more than sex, but it can be stressful when deciding when you should have sex for the first time.

I don’t believe in having sex with another person until you are fully comfortable in their presence. Unless you can strip naked and stand in front of them with no qualms, you aren’t ready for sex yet, and that step should wait. Likewise, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about intimate issues, sex should wait until you know each other better.

Regardless of your own personal mantra when it comes to sex, your new relationship partner might have different ideas. Couples clash all the time when it comes to sex, but one person should never pressure the other before they’re ready.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to determine if you’re ready for sex:

1. How well do you know your partner?

If you don’t know your partner’s favorite color, I wouldn’t fret, but if you still aren’t sure what he or she does for a living, you might want to wait until you’ve covered the basics. You probably aren’t ready for sex in a new relationship until you understand the fundamentals of what makes that person special.

2. Do you need a commitment in order to have sex?

Most new relationships don’t establish commitment in the first three or four dates, so if you need a monogamous commitment in order to have sex, you’ll want to wait until that is established. The time period will be different from relationship to relationship; communication is really the only way to determine commitment.

3. Do you feel a connection with your partner?

In today’s society, we’ve moved away from the emotional and intellectual connects that make great relationships work, but that doesn’t mean you need to jump into the sack. Sex is always better when you know what makes your partner tick, and when you can ease from talking into sex. Establish a deeper connection, then have sex.

4. Are you comfortable with one night stands?

Have sex early on in the relationship – say on the first, second or third date – can often turn into a one night stand. If you discover something sexually that really turns you off, you’ll be more likely to call it quits than if you’ve established a deeper connection. If you’re okay with having sex and then possibly never seeing that person again, you should be ready to have sex.

5. Have you been tested?

STD’s are incredibly dangerous when it comes to sex, and it is always better to be tested before taking that next step. Wait until you’ve both seen a doctor and been given a clean bill of health before having sex. Better safe than sorry, right?