Myths and Facts About Single People
At some point or another, we’ve all been single. And, depending where we live, once we’re in our 20s or 30s and still (or newly) single, people can have some pretty strange misconceptions about what that means. Most of this should be obvious to folks, but it’s amazing how often I’ve had to explain one or more of these points about single people.
Single Person Myth #1: If someone is single past a certain age, there must be something wrong with them.
Fact: Maybe they just know what they want, or maybe they take commitment seriously and don’t want to make a mistake. Maybe they feel they aren’t ready for marriage yet. Maybe they don’t believe in marriage or marriage is not an option for them. In short, don’t make assumptions.
Single Person Myth #2: Single people are irresponsible.Fact: We have jobs, pets, savings accounts, family obligations and mortgages, just like anyone else. In fact, we often have to be more responsible, because we’re on our own.
Single PersonMyth #3: Single people don’t have family obligations.Fact: This may be the issue that makes me the most crazy. I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve had jobs that have given me flexibility to deal with issues in my family, both biological and chosen. Singles are not all childless, and many of us also may care for aging parents and/or seriously ill partners or friends. Most people are not this fortunate. If you are an employer or manager, please be aware of these issues with your single employees. You’ll get great loyalty from them if you give them this flexibility.
Single PersonMyth #4: Single people are unhappy being single.Fact: Some people choose to be single. Others may be looking for the right partner, but are perfectly content in the meantime. My point is, please don’t take pity on someone just because they’re single. We might be offended, or just find you peculiar.
Single Person Myth #5: Single people want you to set them up with your second cousin.Fact: Please please, please don’t do this to us unless we ask. If you really think you have a great idea, at least check with us first before you try to put something in motion. It can be really awkward when a friend tries to set you up with a relative and it doesn’t work out well.
Single Person Myth #6: At a certain age, a single person is too old to get marriedFact: If my mother calls me one more time to say I’m running out of time to find a husband, I’m going to freak out. Love can happen at any age.
Single Person Myth #7: Single people are uncomfortable hanging out with married peopleFact: Single people are only uncomfortable hanging out with married people when they commit some of the no-no’s mentions above or keep saying things like “you should really get married, it’s great!” I’m sure it is, and when it’s the right thing for me to do, I’ll do it.
Single Person Myth #8: Single people eat take out all the time and rent moviesFact: I like my takeout and movie rentals. I also know how to cook. I also regularly dine with friends and family. Thank you for your concern.
Single Person Myth #9: Single people party all the time.Fact: Maybe when they’re 21. Trust me, my job and responsibilities keep me tired too.
Single Person Myth #10: Single people have more disposable income Fact: Single people are often more careful about savings, because they know they will not have a second income to rely on should something happen to them or their job.
Single PersonMyth #11: You’re not an adult until you are married.Fact: Artificial rules about maturity say the most about the people who utter them. Stop it. Right now. Thank you. I’m an adult. You’re an adult. Next.
In conclusion: All this stuff probably is insanely obvious to most of you, but I just felt it was important to mention. Having had recent experiences with this and having also read an article recently that talked about how many single women are excluded in church groups and other communities because they are viewed as “abnormal” I thought it was important to address these issues.
