NFL 2006-07 NFC North Division Predictions

The NFC North, or Norris, or No Score Division USA, or whatever you want to call them, is quite bad. They have one team (Bears) that is a very good team, but they are a one-sided team. The old cliche says that defense wins championships. This was true for the 70s Pittsburgh Steelers. However, the Steel Curtain also had a decent offensive attack. Franco Harris, Terry Bradshaw, John Stallworth, Lynn Swann; all those guys played second fiddle to the defensive legends like Mean Joe Greene, L.C. Greenwood, and others. Try to name anybody on the 2006 Chicago Bears offense who compares to Bradshaw or Harris? There is nobody. This is why the Bears won’t be able to take the next step up from great team to serious Super Bowl contender. Sure, the Ravens did it a few years ago but that was a fluke, and the Buccaneers were lucky. They could at least score if they had to score. The Bears must rely solely upon their defense to win every game. With that in mind, here are my predictions for the NFC North.

WINNER – Chicago Bears. What can I say? Offense or not, they are really good. In fact, they could play without ever having possession of the ball and still find a way to win 9 games. Luckily for them, they do get the chance to go on offense. They have a decent quarterback in Rex Orton-Grossman-McMahon-Refridgerator Butkus. That conglomerate ‘helped’ get them into the playoffs last year. With some extra experience under the belt, the aforementioned QB, should be able to complete a pass or two each game. Mark my words, in at least one game this season, the Bears will score over 15 points. Oh who am I trying to fool? They have no offense. None. None. None. But they will win every single game this season, IF they can hold their opponents to under 1 point a game. With their defense, they probably will. Record 11-5

SECOND – Minnesota Vikings. Why do I think that the Vikings will place second? I don’t, but the Magic 8-Ball that I asked does. Just like the NFC West, it is really just a one team race. The real reason that I picked the Vikings to place second is because they, most recently, were a good team, of the remaining three. Plus, after all the horrors of last year (Sex Boat Scandal, Dante Culpepper hurt, no Moss, ticket scalping coach; who did not deserve to be fired) its the least I could do for them. So, why not the Vikings? Record 5-11

THIRD – Green Bay Packers. You have to feel for Brett Favre. He deserves better than this. He wants the storybook ending to his career (a la Jerome Bettis or John Elway) but his team isn’t good enough to write such an ending. What the Packers have going for them, other than Favre, is the coolest (if not coldest) stadium in football. The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field. Somehow, just by playing there, it should get them 4 wins. Record 4-12

LAST – Detroit Matt Millens. Has there ever been so much attention surrounding a last place team that wasn’t a surprise last place team (like the 2006 Atlanta Braves were; assuming they finish last)? The Lions are the New York Knicks of football. The Lions are the Kansas City Royals of football. I honestly believe that both the Knicks and the Royals could beat the Lions on Thanksgiving Day at football. Compared to the Lions situation, the Bears QB’s are Montana, Unitas, and Namath, with Marino as 4th string. Talk about a tale of two cities, how can the Detroit Tigers and the Detroit Lions both play in the same town? Add in the Pistons and the Red Wings and most residents of Detroit don’t even know that there is a pro football team there. If the Lions could win the division (and if pigs could fly), Detroit would be the best city in sports. But one stink and three roses equals ONE BIG STINK. Sorry Detroit. What is the over/under, in weeks, until Matt Millen is fired, or at least until somebody gets tossed out of the stadium for having a “Fire Millen” sign? Two. That’s also the number of wins they might get. Record 2-14 (and that’s assuming that two of their opponents never show up).