Children Are the Light of the World..
You see, my current enviroment is kid free, and I like it that way. My things are arranged, without wondering if a curious 3 ear old will find a way to destroy it. And we all know, that no matter how break resistant we think something is, a child will find a way, By God, to break it.
Just a few days ago my aunt decided to pay a visit, along with her three rowdy, but darn cute, kids.
Fine, I thought to myself, I can handle this. But when, in front of my very eyes the two youngest girls began seeing how fast they could run around the circular coffee table in our living room without falling and breaking an arm, I began to have a nervous twitch.
“Show us your ROOM!” They said excitedly.
” Oh, no girls, I can’t, you see, there’s a monster that lives under my bed that will reach out, snatch you under, and bite off your toes”.
The youngest gave a gasp, the oldest, raised a brow as if to call me out on my bullshit. But I immediately regretted my saying when the youngest began to sniffle.
Oh Great.
Her mother gave me a look that, was no doubt intended to call upon some magical force to send my body up in flames.
” Uh”, I stammered, ” Honey, I was only kidding, there’s no monster under my bed”. And a smile broke across her face. Within minutes they were exploring my room and grabbing everything breakble they could find. Luckily, none of the little lamps I collect were shattered, although I did catch one of them trying to smuggle out an small glass angel my grandmother had given me.
” Show us the stream!”, they screamed, the sound piercing my ears and increasing the nervous twitch in my eye.
” Could you, please?” My aunt asked. ” They’re driving me nuts”.
Thanks Auntie, I thought, we all know that I’m not the one that popped your little gremlins out, by why not? Afterall, I’m childless, and it won’t hurt to watch over your heathens for a moment or two.
” Okay”, I said.
Walking out to the stream, I showed them to their delight the crawfish zipping about in the water, and the small minnows that nipped at the surface. They loved it, and it warmed my heart a bit to hear them laughing. But on the way back, the smallest one noticed the basement door flung open.
She went straight for it.
” No!” I yelled, ” Honey, you can’t. It’s dark down there, and there is equipment that could hurt the baby”.
” I’m goin”, she said matter of factly.
” I wouldn’t do that”, I said
” And why not?”
” Because there’s a monster living down there that eats babies whole”.
She ran to her mother crying.
I am so not the motherly type.
