Helping Your Child Deal with Bullies

At some point in your life, you’ve had to face a bully. We’ve all had to. Whether you stood your ground or gave in to their threatening ways, you were still affected in some way. Most bullies are insecure or need attention. They pick on people they fill are inferior to them and use their size or status to get their way. For children, being bullied can be very stressful times. Children can become depressed or sad, and will try to avoid going places where they may run into the bully. Sometimes, the child being bullied can become a bully themselves, for a since of security and toughness. Parents can also feel stressed, knowing that their child is afraid to go to the playground or even school. However, there are ways to help your child deal with bullies without using violence. First, you should be able to recognize the silent signals that your child may give you to indicate that they are being bullied.

SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED

The most obvious sign that your child may be a victim of a bully is bumps and bruises due to physical harm. However, not all bullies use violence. Bullying can be physical as well as verbal. Some kids will make up illnesses to avoid school where most of the bullying occurs. You may see a decline in school grades as well, due to a lack of concentration and always being focused on how to dodge a bully. Another major sign is if your child is suddenly missing money or things that belong to them. They can also become irritable, angry, and may even pick on someone smaller to sooth their own insecurities. For parents and adults, it is important to pay close attention to the visible signs from children in order to help them.

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

If you know or suspect that a child is a victim of a bully, talk to your child about the situation. Let them know that they are not to blame and that have your support. When kids are in that type of situation, they feel that they are all alone and that going to their parents may make it worse than what it is. Find out from your child what they have to go thru with a bully during school or even in the neighborhood. Good communication can put a kid at ease and allow him or her to express what they go thru and how they really feel.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY, SO IGNORE THEM

One of the things a bully wants to see from his victims is anger and emotion. They pick on people to see what their response will be and how it will affect them. Most bullies are emotionally stressed or depressed themselves and only want their victim to feel as bad as they do. Advise your child to hide their anger and ignore them. If a bully can’t get the response they want from someone, eventually they will leave them alone.

THROW THEM OFF GUARD WITH HUMOR AND POLITENESS

When your child is face to face with a bully, a good idea is to make light of the situation (not the bully) to throw them off guard. Compliments are a good idea as well, because most bullies don’t receive enough compliments and praise from home.

WHEN IT IS OK TO DEFEND YOURSELF

In cases where your child is being physically bullied, you should let them know that using violence towards the bully is not the answer. The best solution is to tell an adult about the situation or to walk away. However, there are always instances when an adult is not present and your child has used up his last joke. You may not want your child to fight back or use violence, but you also don’t want to see your precious baby’s face similar to raw hamburger because he or she just stood there and let the kid pummel them. Fighting back should be a LAST RESORT move and only when there is no where to turn.

FRIENDS STICK TOGETHER

Schoolyard Bullies usually start trouble around their friends to demonstrate power or toughness. Well, your child may have friends as well who get picked on by a bully. Tell your child that true friends will always stick together and standing up and letting the bully know that their actions will no longer be tolerated in front of your peers, may give them courage to do so as well. Suddenly the bully will have no power.

When all else fails, you may want to visit the school and talk with the teacher, princible, and even a guidance counselor about the problem. Sometimes, speaking to the adult(s) in charge will give you a better idea of what’s going on. There are many adults that do not take responsibility or the correct steps to resolve the situation and as a result, children continue to get bullied.