Love Advice: Improve Your Dating Life & Relationships
1.) Phone calls:
Most men hate to talk on the phone with women for hours. Men who hold stressing position such as journalists, lawyers (district attorney’s, acquisition attorneys, and entertainment), accountants, financial planners, stock brokers, and real estate agents are always on their phones talking about business, or resolving a business matter. They usually use their phones as a business tool, and not as a socializing weapon. Cell phones are associated with work and when it’s time for men to leave work, they tend to plug their phones up, and turn them off until the next work day and in some cases, during the weekend. I once dated an entertainment attorney, known for booking the biggest punk, emo, and metal rock acts on earth, who would turn his phone off on weekends and would not respond to any business calls at all. Maybe I should not tell this, but this guy would not take calls from his mother on some days. He would even stay away from the computer as well and not answer any e-mails.
Truth: Men would rather just see you in person, gaze into your eyes, feel the chemistry, see your smile and just be able to put their hand on your hand, rather than just sit in one spot in their Pj’s, or boxers and an undershirt, with their hands glued to their phones, telling you their life’s story.
Tip: If you want to score points in a dating prospect’s book, with your current crush, or even your boyfriend, why don’t you give him one call and invite him to hang out. Meet for a drink, or either coffee. You pick the place, or you two can agree on a spot. This will cut the talking time down totally and plus both of you will be happy with your cell phone bills. Be sure to let the guy know that you’d rather, spend time with him and sit and talk in person, than sit on your cell phone and chat, because you’re not really a phone person and its impersonal. He will love that! Most men seem to believe that all women live to talk on the phone, and stab at their side kicks, or PDA’s anyways. So be that one girl that he falls head over heels with and can’t wait to tell his friends about how you’d rather see him in person then talk on the phone.
2.) Constantly Calling: Constantly calling anyone is a BIG – BIG “NO-NO”! Never call a guy more than once a day, unless you two get caught up in a game of phone tag. Then it’s okay. If this happens, just leave a brief message letting the guy know when it would be a good time to catch you. This way, you can maintain your self respect and dignity.
Truth: If too many incidences of phone tag, or hit and misses occur, some men may either chase you, or some will just figure that you must not want to talk to them because you keep missing their calls. Some men tend to think that if you’re really interested in them, you would make sure that you answered your phone. Men also seem to think that that since technology has made it possible to talk to nearly anyone around the world, that you have no excuse to miss their calls.
Tip: If you do call your guy, or a dating prospect, say something really sophisticated and sexy.
Make it worth his while to listen to your call. Give him something to hope forâÂ?¦ 2.) If you’re guilty of phone tag, try to cut down on it and answer your phone. If you’re at work where you can’t answer your phone, excuse yourself, find somewhere that’s private and send a discrete, but sweet text message letting them know when to call, or a time when you’re free to talk or meet.
3.) Mothering: Do not take on the role of your boyfriend’s mother! He may already have a mother, or a mother figure that he looks up to, and does not need you to act like his adopted mother.
Truth: If your guy wanted a second mother, he would not be with you. You’re probably reading this and asking yourself what I mean. Let me give you a few examplesâÂ?¦ a.) Do not give orders to your guy, or be overly pushy by telling him to eat, sleep, or when go to bed – oh and don’t tell him he’s tired because that will start a huge argument. It is possible to toss subtle hints, and not bark out demands, or orders, treating your guy like he’s six years old. Now, even if your guy does act like he’s six years old, that doesn’t necessarily give you the right to treat him like he is, because more than likely, he will take note and before you know it, you will become the nagging hag and not his girlfriend. Now SOME men like to be ordered around by a woman wearing leather, thigh high boots and whips, but that’s not the case with every man. You must remember that every man is different.
Tip: Remember, if you can’t seem to refrain from barking out orders and snapping the whip and you’re the bossy type who must be in control, then use a little tenderness with your guy. Remember this: It’s how you say things, not what you say. If you want your guy to eat, don’t say or yell, “Honey, get in here and eat now!” Try this: “Honey, your food is getting cold. Would you like for me to warm it in the microwave and bring it to you?”
However, if he needs a shower because he’s a tad bit sweaty, or musty, then try this: Tell your guy how sexy it is to see him after he has just had a shower. Let him know how sexy he looks when he has the towel wrapped around his waist and how hot it makes you feel when he’s cleanly shaven, and how you’d love to give him a nice massage. This will always work. Your guy will be so excited and anxious to jump in the shower because of the overwhelming thoughts of hot action that may take place after he leaves the shower, that he may create a world record of speed. He will not have any clue at all that you’re manipulating him into a showerâÂ?¦
See, that way, he will be more receptive. Just think before you speak! It’s that simple.
4.) Giving gifts – intimate, or not it’s too soon: Ladies, ladies, ladies, some of you feel that your guy is entitled to receive gifts from you immediately. Sometimes, you can move too quickly and this can be lethal. For example, if you’ve only dated a guy for two weeks, do not go all out, take a photo of yourself and slap it in a photo frame and put it on his night stand, sneak it in his brief case, or wrap it and give it to him. Do not go all out and make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day if you’ve only started to date each other recently. That’s a BIG NO-NO!!! Some of you don’t understand why this is so bad. Here is why this is so bad: a.) When you’ve only dated someone for a few weeks, or a month, you really don’t know him that well, and I don’t care how much you swear to the stars and moon that he is your soul mate, HE IS NOT, or MAY NOT BE YOUR SOUL MATE and if you honestly feel that he is, just give it time and let him show you his true colors, which in some cases can be pretty darn ugly depending on the situation and astonishingly beautiful in other cases.
Truth: Hypothetically, just because you’ve talked to someone for hours, days, and months this does not mean that you know this guy well, or know everything about him! He could have some pretty ugly skeletons in his closet and I do mean this literally. Everyone has secrets and you need time for them to come out, or for the guy to share his deepest feelings with you. You need a lot of time, and only time will tell.
Tip: If you really want to give some sort of an inconspicuous gift, invite the guy over, only if you’re certain that he’s not some psycho serial killer. Cook something for him and rent a few DVD’s. I would recommend light humor, or comedy. Don’t get anything that’s too heavy such as a deep tear jerker, or movie that’s filled with heavy passion that’s going to possibly land you in bed – unless that’s what both of you want. You don’t want to move too soon, or if you do then that’s you’re business.
5.) Snooping: For those of you who cannot resist ease dropping on your guys phone calls, checking their cell phones every time they get a call, clicking through their e-mail files, asking who called them and so forth, then you do not need to be in a relationship because you’re too insecure for your own good!
Truth: Men can pick up on a woman’s insecurities like you wouldn’t believe, and after a while they will begin to despise this behavior and possibly despise you. Some men are honored when they are fussed over and sometimes love it when a woman gets jealous, but jealousy can only go so far before it lands you a one way ticket out of their life. If you are so consumed about who your guy is talking too, or if you feel that he is doing something wrong like cheating, then just leave.
Tip: Do not waste your precious time stressing out and making yourself seem possessive and insane to him. You could try to talk to him about what bothers you, or just tell him what you suspect or feel. If talking does not work, and you honestly feel that he may be cheating, or lying, then exit the relationship. Life is too short and you must not spend your days being unhappy. You have a life to live, so get out there and live it. Do not spend one more moment in the dumps, letting this tare your self-esteem down any further. You are beautiful, so act like it! Go out and sight see. Hang out in your local neighborhood mall, coffee shop, sports store, or take on a new hobby such as a cooking class or a dance class because you may meet your next potential match!
6.) Do not accuse your man of checking out other ladies when he’s out on an evening with you: Do not get angry when your man looks at other women. Also, do not call it to his attention possibly causing a big public scene or an argument! Ladies, if your man has a roving eye and can’t seem to keep his eyes only on you, but has his eyes glued to every women that passes by, this does not mean that he does not love you, or your assets… It just means that he’s a man.
Truth: I am not making excusing this behavior, but your guy is only being a man and men do look – AT EVERYTHING. They have eyes and can’t stop themselves from the temptation. If this is a problem for you, here is what you can do about it!
Tip: Here’s scenario: You and your guy are on an outing at a place like universal City Walk, in Southern, CA. Your guy keeps looking at nearly anything that passes by in a skirt, or with breast. Don’t get mad, get even! You have eyes too, so why don’t you scope out a few guys. Wink, say hello, smile at men who pass by and check you out. Make sure to let your guy see and hear it all! Even bluntly flirt if you must. This will either enrage your guy so much that he stops checking out women because he will be so worried about who’s flirting with you, that he will completely stop staring at other women, or he will nearly act like a circus clown doing all that he can to try and steal your attention away from other men. You have to turn the tables on him and let him know that he’s not the only one who was blessed with eyes and good looks. IF your guy calls you out on your actions, and asks what you’re doing, just play ‘coy’. Act as though you have no idea what he is talking about and be very cute about it. Say something like, “Well honey or baby, what are you talking about? You look at other women and I don’t get upset about it. You do this all the time. I’m only being friendly – like you! How rude would it be to not smile, or say hello to someone when they stare at you, or make eye contact?” Play it down. This will really upset him! Your guy will stop, and think about his actions. You have to take control and give him a big dose of his nasty little medicine! It’s time to let him know how it tastes! You cannot let him run over you like this, plus this will really give you a kick and make your guy realize that you’re a gorgeous hottie that he better respect and cherish more if he wants to keep you by his side! See, isn’t this much better than crying, having a fit and making a scene in public? If anyone is going to make a scene, let it be him who loses his mind, while you maintain your self respect and dignity!
Ladies, now that I have let you in on a few little secrets, it is time to test drive these tips out on your guy. You’re a woman and you’re beautiful. Always remember to respect yourself always and never lose your dignity – no matter what! For some of you who are covered with man repellent, just know that you’re working towards improvement! Work it! Oh and never regret anything that you do, especially if it’s in the name of love!!
