Raising Respectful Children

Many parents struggle to balance love and fun with the appropriate discipline needed to raise children who are respectful and polite. So many times, a mother may feel guilty when punishing a child for talking back or a father will regret saying no to a pleading youngster, but these things are absolutely necessary.

In order for our children to understand that all forms of life have restrictions, we must enforce guidelines in our homes. If a young girl is raised to believe that she can be rude and disrespectful, she is in great danger of being socially and professionally inept as an adult. However, if the child is taught to be polite and respectful to both her peers and adults, then she will likely flourish as she grows.

Here is a list of things that parents can do to help ensure they will have respectful, well-balanced children:

1. Understand that you are the parents, not the friends. There will be time to be friends with your children when they have grown and become adults. Right now, when the children are young and impressionable is when you must teach them respect for others – especially adults. It is your job to teach respect now, so that you may give it later.

2. Provide rules and consequences. The best time to teach a child that there are consequences to every action is when s/he is young. Do not give continual warnings; rather, be firm and authoritative the first time. For instance, if the child refuses to eat dinner, explain very calmly that this is the only time food will be offered and if after 5 minutes the child is not making a reasonable effort to eat, then the food will be taken away. This method will only work, however, if the child is given nothing else to eat for the rest of the evening regardless of any complaints of hunger. (This is the time when you do not allow guilt to take over; the child will not starve.)

3. Be consistent. Whatever guidelines you have set up and however you expect to receive respect in your home, be consistent in how you discipline and back it up. Children thrive on routine and knowing what is expected of them. By showing a child that you have the patience to teach them what is expected, they will respond by respecting and understanding the rules.

4. Do not argue in front of children. Parents will inevitably argue from time to time. However, it is extremely important that children do not see or hear parents yelling at each other or speaking in a derogatory manner. Children will mimic what they see at home; show them loving and respectful behavior and they will follow.

5. Spend quality time together. While we have all heard that we need to spend quality time together with our families, it is not always easy to achieve. If you are a single parent or work long hours, be sure that the time you are spending with your child is actual quality time; be present in the moment. By showing that you love and respect the time you have with your child, she will respect your time even more.

While parenting can sometimes be a struggle, nothing can beat the feeling of someone complimenting you on your well-behaved, respectful children. Teaching your children respect is the best gift you can give!