The Most Despicable Movie Character Ever: Ruminations on American Pie’s Steve Stiffler

I had the misfortune of going to see the third and (allegedly) last installment of the American Pie films this evening. I had nothing better to do, and considering that my roommate and I have a hookup in one of the theaters that lets us in for free. My opinions of the first two American Pie films were loathing and indifference in that order so I just kind of assumed that the last one would be, if nothing else, an inoffensive waste of two hours. I was wrong.

Horribly wrong. In fact, I came to a strong, harsh realization during the viewing of this film. This series of teenage, gross-out buddy comedies contains one of the singles most offensive, evil, manipulative, disgusting characters I have ever seen on film. I mean, the Nazis in Schindler’s List were pretty fucking evil, but we weren’t supposed to like them. This is a character that we are expected to sympathize with, empathize with and hell, even like. I’m talking about this guy:

Yes. Steven Stiffler. One of the most generally obnoxious human beings I have ever seen on film. If Steve Stiffler were a character in an 80’s teenager film, he would be the guy that the gorgeous but wonderful prom queen dumps on his ass at the end of the movie so she can date the nerd. Or the guy that gets punched out by the nerd in the big dramatic showdown at the end. Or the guy who SOMEHOW would get his by the end of the movie for being the self-centered, morally-lacking asshole he truly is. But alas, this is a new generation of cinema.

This guy gets the girls, gets most of the attention as well as most of the one-liners despite the fact that he has been a complete asshole throughout the course of all three films. Stiffler is a static character. Unchanging and unflinching even in the moments we think he might turn out to be a truly good guy. Not only does he get to the girls, but he does it by being sexist, manipulative and degrading in every way he can imagine.

What is the appeal of this character? If he acted this way for satirical purposes in order to make a statement about the immaturity of adolescent males and their mistreatment of women than I might be able to dig him. But no, people in the theater were laughing at him because of how he was acting and for no other reason. Let’s take a little glance at some of the crimes perpetrated by Steve Stiffler throughout the course of the three American Pie films shall we? (Help with some of this must be credited to www.screenit.com)

1) In both American Pie 1 and 2, Stiffler actively tries to get female characters to drink a heavy amount of alcohol so they will end up in bed with him later in the evening.
2) In the first film, insists that the main character Jim set up his computer so that he can watch a girl changing in his bedroom. 3) Repeatedly smacks girls in the rear while making lewd remarks. Countless number of such instances in all of the films.
4) In the first film, repeatedly belittles all four of the other male main characters for being virgins and talks at them like they are worthless because of it.
5) In all three films, walks up to girls from behind making crude hip-thrusting motions behind their backs while mouthing dirty words to the characters in front of him.
6) In the second film, Stiffler makes fun of one of his friends due to that characters’ desire to be faithful to his girlfriend. Calls him a disgrace to men everywhere.
7) Tries to force two characters who he believes to be lesbians into a sexual confrontation for everyone to witness. He believes they are lesbians because they are walking down the street together. (he of course, ends up sleeping with both of them at the same time by the end of the film)
8) In the third film, puts on a faÃ?§ade that he is a nice, considerate man for the sole purpose of trying to have sex with a female character in the film. Later, it’s revealed that he actually is a rude, obnoxious prick. This happens when the girl he’s trying to bed walks in on a conversation he is having. Stiffler yells continuously about how he is going to “fuck” and “hump” this girl then goes through a disgusting gesture with his tongue and fingers while talking about he he’s going to milk her like a cow. She witnesses the entire thing.

Sound like the kind of guy you’d want your daughter or sister coming home with? I’ll stop there because I want to make a point about that last one. The female character (the bride in the films’ sister) is introduced as a nice, smart, attractive girl who has sophisticated tastes in culture. There is an immediate attraction between her and another one of the male characters in the film (Finch) because they both share similar interests and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. Stiffler decides that he would try to turn the tables by putting on the faÃ?§ade, as I mentioned earlier.

She is intrigued by Stiffler and the seemingly nice, innocent way he acts. Finch reacts to this by turning the tables himself and acting like a rude, obnoxious immature prick like say, Steve Stiffler. She immediately averts her attraction to Finch now that he’s acting this way. Through some contrivances, she ends up back with Stiffler and eventually she overhears the conversation I wrote about previously. About fifteen minutes later (as far as movie-time is concerned anyway), she loves Stiffler again.

Why? Because he made a last-ditch attempt to save the wedding by recruiting a football team and buying lots of flowers in order to avert all the disaster he caused earlier (he kills all the flowers for the wedding earlier in the film) and win back the heart of the girl. He does this to prove that he does care about everyone in the wedding and wants to help out. A few minutes later, as the groom is trying to give a heartfelt speech to all of his friends, Stiffler is anxiously hurrying him along and not paying attention so he can go nail the girl in a closet. There was no change of heart involved. He’s still the sex-obsessed prick he always has been and still gets the girl at the end of the film.

Why does this infuriate me so? Because I’ve seen it happen in real life. I’ve met guys who look and act like Steve Stiffler and they often end up with nice girls despite being the obnoxious assholes that they are. Go to any party on a college campus and you’ll run into 20 Steve Stifflers. And the girls, for the most part, love them. The character in this film reinforces my opinion that these kinds of guys actually come out on top in the long run. The barrage of laughter around me in the theater helped reinforce that even further. Watching American Wedding made me think of another movie.

The movie is called Say Anything. It was made in the late 1980’s by a director who I very much admire and you may have heard of named Cameron Crowe. Crowe has recently gone on to direct Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous and Vanilla Sky. Say Anything is about two realistic teenage characters in a kind, heartfelt romance, who go through changes and learn lessons about themselves in the process. The nice guy gets the girl at the end of the film.

It’s a wonderful movie. It made me long for the days of the 1980’s, when the teenage films might have been coated with a heavy layer of cheese, but the asshole rarely got the girl by the end of the movie. The filmmakers of the American Pie ought to be ashamed of themselves for thrusting this character into the eyes of adolescents all across the country. Skip American Wedding and go rent Say Anything. Or some John Hughes movies.

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