Being White in Kenya

Being white in Kenya means baptism with a third name, “Mzungu”. Mzungu, whose plural is Wazungu, is a Swahili word that stands for white person. So forget your name for now. Your colour will be as outstanding as the full moon that braves long winter nights. What was your name again? Ah Sandra! Okay, you might as well consider yourself Sandra Mzungu from now onwards. Your new name will be with you all through your stay and karibu!

With great fondness I remember my safaris with Christoph Grandt. We both taught at German School Nairobi and after we met in September 2003, a week later we set foot in Naivasha to visit my grandmother. Sitting in a matatufrom the Village Market to Nairobi City Center, we could overhear whispers of “mzunguâÂ?¦mzungu” and of course since the Kenyan passengers talked in Kiswahili and Christoph had not learned Swahili, I kept translating into German and you can not possibly guess what the contents were!

You see, being white in Kenya means something else. A Mzungu is someone with a lot of money. At least that is the stereotype attached to being white. It means you are from a rich country or family and your spending talent has attracted you to pitch tent in Kenya. So, when a white person is seen sitting in the public transport vehicles instead of being in a personal car, apart from the general air of excitement that this causes it brings with it a lot of whispers.

So I told Christoph that they were mesmerised that a white person was in a matatu. They wondered why he did not have a car. They wondered whether where Christoph came from there were matatus as well and I did not bother to translate some ridiculous remarks to Christoph at times. I summarised the main message. On that day, some two gentlemen conversing in Kikuyu – a language spoken in Kenya – wondered whether if Christoph farted it would smell like the African fart. Jesus!

As we sat in a grass-thatched restaurant in Naivasha and enjoyed sumptuous nyama choma – grilled meat – I could not help noticing the waitresses peeping and wondering whether Christoph was really going to eat the ugali – maize meal – not to mention the mukimo – mixture of mashed potato, beans, maize, pumpkin leaves – and I can still hear their giggles and laughter as they saw him swallow the Ugali and Mukimo. It is generally perceived that Wazungu do not eat certain foods and especially not local African foods. So being white means as well that your eating habits and appetites will be subject to constant scrutiny especially in rural Kenya where the sight of a white person in the villages is as rare as a presidential visit from Israel.

Many Kenyans of my generation are generally very interested in going abroad for a number of reasons ranging from education, jobs, and of course the winner in this category is the American Green Card in pursuit of the American dream! It is heavily rumoured that Boston is home to many Kenyans. So, you might ask, where is the connection?

Watching grandmas cattle graze by our side as we lay on a green hill with a tantalising view of the Lake Naivasha, Christoph and I talked about white and black friendships in Kenya at length. We wondered where one draws the line between genuine friendship from the heart and material friendships. You will meet Kenyans that will generally believe that you are their answered prayer! You are their Visa. Their delayed Visa. Yet you will also meet wonderful people from all walks of life that will interact with you without a mention of any help expected from your side and in fact they might offer to help you if you have problems. And of course, your instincts will help you decide what kind of affection you are getting. Whether it is genuine or not. You know better how to differentiate this but in Kenya, you might learn much more. And oh yes, this is part of the adventure.

Christoph and I concluded that it is very difficult to draw a line between genuine and fake because, especially in the case of some Kenyan women with an insatiable appetite for whites, you might be in for a cheque-drawing adventure if you cannot interpret the signals they send correctly. Our conversation was largely about the Kenyan female species. The male species is not much different. But in a country with booming poverty levels that hit world tabloid headlines more often than not, what do you expect! This experience is almost standard worldwide if in your formula the women and men are the constant, and their colour and economic endowment are the variables. God bless Isaac Newton. My advice, watch the traffic lights and cross when it is green and if adventure is your middle name, even red is a colour or just call it green! You will only be advancing Albert Einstein’s theory of relativism.

On average whenever we went dancing, the above theory regarding whites-appetite came to life. I am black. Christoph is white. A Mzungu. It’s Friday evening. We park his car outside Florida 2000 in Nairobi and before we can tuck our tickets away, Christoph immediately receives several offers for a dance from a cluster of several half-naked women of the infamous Florida red light district. I have none. I walk aimlessly wondering whether I am generally ugly or do I look like a terrorist or whether my head looks like a disfigured potato or what is the problem. Susan, our workmate came along. She also got none. After her brief visit to the ladies, I engage her in a conversation and we talk about Christoph’s luck for sometime. Christoph meanwhile is busy turning down all offers as diplomatically as he might have learned during his university days in Paris. He walks to us and we turn into a discussion about his lottery fortune as we sip away cold bottles of Kenya’s finest beer TuskerâÂ?¦ahhhâÂ?¦it makes the music sound like Puff Daddy and Nameless are performing live at Carnivore grounds!

You love curios and other sculptures don’t you? Then you will pay more at Nairobi’s Massai Market by the virtue of your colour. A few words of Kiswahili might help you get a good bargain because the sellers will generally think you are a resident and hence a frequent visitor, but you know, since you are new in Kenya, you are probably still snow-white and they generally know how to differentiate between those brown Wazungus that have been in Kenya for sometime and the new more white ones. May be after you swim in the sunny beaches of Kikambala and sip mnazi – a coconut brew – in Watamu, you might turn brown very fast and that will help you identify yourself as a resident, especially when the prices of items sound inflated.

Asians are not referred to as Mzungu despite their different confusing shades of white and black and brown. They are called Mchinese for Chinese, Mjapanese for Japanese and Mhindi for the Indians. Their funny tiny eyes, hair, dressing and religious dots on the face betray them as being otherwise. Some children cannot distinguish this, but they know Wazungu have long noses.

A black person can also be a Mzungu by virtue of his or her character. Now you are shocked. I will explain. In Kenya, being Mzungu is also associated with certain mannerisms and character. A Mzungu is someone who insists on too much cleanliness and orderliness associated with the Catholic fathers and high standards of achievement in doing tiny things and the general trappings that come along with the western civilization, like kissing in the public eye, something that is abhorred yet stared at half the time it happens. Therefore, whenever a black person behaves in a certain manner, they are told they are behaving like a Mzungu.

Take for example punctuality, a notion perceived so western that there is something called German Time associated to German punctuality that means being at the appointment venue exactly on the dot. And the opposite is therefore African Time and or Kenyan time if you like.
On average Kenyan Time means arriving several minutes late and please be warned, it could last up to an hour until your date turns up, if they turn up at all, and guess what�with a wide smile on their face, as if they brought you breaking news that the whole world is a bunch of chocolate. This is a true test of ones patience and in Kenya you need several 37 doses of patience with the government as well as with the citizens, and 45 ounces of calmness.

Very punctual people have a simile associated to their punctuality; as punctual as a Mzungu. If one insists on too much cutlery on the dinner table as if Queen Elizabeth is on a stopover for a state visit, then their behaviour at that moment might be referred to as Mzungu behaviour. Some people say the following; “unajifanya Mzungu” (you are behaving like a white person). Generally, people who eat Ugali with a fork and knife risk the sudden wrath of those who consider it dishonourable to eat Kenya’s delicious staple food with forks and knives from the West. Ugali has been faithfully eaten with hands since the time of our forefathers.

You wonder whether Mzungu is negative or positive reference. The denotation is White person and connotation is relative to the circumstances of the particular moment. The word was coined during the colonial era and of course at that time it had a superbly negative connotation attached to it in view of the activities of the British colonial masters. Then, it was used in the Mau Mau context, which has at times been interpreted and expounded as an abbreviation for “Mzungu Arudi Ulaya, Mwafrika Apate Uhuru” (White man should go home, the African gain independence). After independence in 1963, Mzungu means Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½white person’ in contemporary Kenya. And of course Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½white man’s mannerisms’.

When children call you “mzunguâÂ?¦mzunguâÂ?¦how are youâÂ?¦habari”, as it so often happened to my friends as we traversed Kenya during our countless safaris, then it means they are happy to see you and all they wish for is that you say something back in acknowledgment of their greeting and give them the feeling that you are just like them and can talk. So you could say “Nzuri” (fine) or smile and wave or say the “fine. How are you?” back to them. They will wave back and serve you a dozen of giggles and they will excitedly run away in happiness and in the evening at dinner, you will be mentioned with your baptismal name, Mzungu, as they tell endless stories about your hair, eyes and wonder about colour white! And you might feature as the starring in the dreams and nightmares that occupy their minds for the next few weeks if not months!

But when a grown up says mzungu to you. You should immediately look at their face and interpret whether it is a friendly encounter or it is a sneer you are being served with. Friendly people will shake your hand excitedly and say some Swahili words or English words or a mixture of both to test your knowledge of both. At times just to tease you. Of course there are those that will want to annoy you if they are drunk or silly. Some people will ask you for money because as I said earlier, your colour is equivalent to cash money.

Mwafrika refers to a black person. It is the opposite of Mzungu. So every time someone calls you Mzungu, you can refer to them as “Mwafrika” without the fear of contradiction and half the time they will laugh themselves silly.

I will do you a lot of harm to tell you that everyone is friendly to white people. Much as 98% of the Kenyans that interacted with my white friends were welcoming, there were some who were not. At times I walked the streets of Mombassa, Nairobi, Lamu, Watamu e.t.c. with many white friends and all was okay even if I walked on the other side of the lane about 20 meters away from them. Some people stared at them, some did not and all was cool.

Some elderly people, with memories of their encounters with colonial masters are generally introverted when it comes to relating with white people. People born after independence are very welcoming, but again remember you will interact with so many nice people that appreciate tourism as a source of income and friends and tell you what, my own grandmother appreciates and is very welcoming of my white friends, even though my deceased grandfather was a soldier collaborating with the colonial masters and he worked as a milking man at a white man’s farm. So, enjoy Kenya. You will love it!

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