10 Easy Steps to Composing Your Own Wedding Vows

Composing one’s own wedding vows can be a daunting task. After all, a pledge of undying love before friends, family, and God is serious business. To get you started, here is a list of 10 prompts to get you on your way to finding the perfect words to express your love and commitment to that special someone. (These prompts can be used to write vows with your fiancee or alone.):

Pre Vow Writting Clearances:
IMPORTANT!: Before you get your writting cap on, check with your clergy member. Certain religions won’t allow you to write your own vows. Once you have the go a head from your clergy member (and your fiancee) the rest should be fun!

1. When did you first realize that you were in love?
Be specific! When professing your love, “I first realized I loved you on our 4th date.” is not going to cut it! Perhaps something more a long the lines of: “I first realized I loved you when on our 4th date when ______. I knew you were the one fore me because ______.”

2. How has your world changed?
Your fiancee has helped you become a happier/more socially aware/less cynical/healthier person by ______. This has changed your life and your wold by _______.

3. Where do you see yourselves in 10, 20, 30 years?
‘In a big house with a pool” is not what your after. Try to go a little deeper when envisioning your lives together. “Watching our children grow and flourish.” “Holding hands as we walk home from the park.” “Opening a free clinic for uninsured AIDS patients.” What do you want for your life together?

4. Codified promises of devotion.
Never underestimate the power of a good laugh… especially at serious functions. This sort of promise should make reference to something between the two of you, but not be so obscure that your guests don’t get it. “I promise to never put my red socks in the washer with your white T-shirts.” or “I promise to always bring home a gallon of milk when I go to the grocery store.” Please keep in mind, as you have now vowed to always/never do this thing in a sacred cerimony, your going to have to make good on the promise for the rest of your married life.

5. Why are you getting married?
What is marriage anyway? Start off with what marriage means to you, and then go into what it will mean to be married to your fiancee. How does the idea of getting married make you feel? Happy? Excited? Elated? All of the above?

6. What’s going to be the best part of getting married?
What will be the best part of being married to your fiancee? I don’t suggest listing any tax or insurance breaks with this one. Things like “building our life together.” or “waking-up every morning to see your smiling face.” may be more appropriate.

7. Is there a line from a poem, song or movie that sums up your feelings?
A big part of writing your own vows is about originality, but it’s okay to borrow from something that has a deep meaning for you. Maybe it’s a line from your song, a book your fiancee gave you, or a movie you saw together. I’d try to avoid lines that are cliche or have been over used.

8. How far has your relationship come?
How are things between your different today than when you first met? Maybe you were office buddies, maybe you hated eachother… try starting off with “It seems like just yesterday that _____”

9. Tweak tradition vows.
Get a copy of some more traditional vows and edit them. Make them cater to your relationship specifically, and what the two of you want to promise eachother. Perhaps ‘Love’ and ‘Honor’ are things you want to vow to do, but ‘Obey’ isn’t quite right – Change it!

10. What is your favorite memory or thing about your fiancee?
This doesn’t have to be something significant, it just has to be real. Maybe it was something that happened when your first met, maybe it was just last week. A fun time you shared? Or the way his/her eyes light-up when he/she sees an electronics store/cotton candy vendor/’free puppies’ sign – whatever. Again, details are key, people will want to hear the
specifics!

Once you have everything written down and in the order you’ll want it run it by someone. If you want the vows to be a surprise on your wedding day, instead of your fiancee someone who knows both of you well would be a good second choice.
Good Luck!