How to Deal with Angry People
Having worked as a small-town weekly newspaper reporter/editor for five, I learned the hard way that I was not going to be able to please everyone. Moving to a much larger and daily newspaper almost two years ago, it was a lesson I took with me and one I was thankful I had already learned. The only difference between the weekly and the daily was the number of people I made angry massively multiplied.
My first confrontation, early in my career, was an absolute disaster because I had never been given any “good” tips on how to handle someone who was ready to rip my head off. It was apparent to me right away that regardless what I said, it was going to be wrong. But, I didn’t realize that’s where my biggest mistake wasâÂ?¦not knowing when to just close my mouth. After more than 30 minutes, I finally was able to hang up on the caller because foul language entered the conversation. At that point, I knew I had an “out” because I didn’t have to listen to that type of language.
Later that same night, my mistake donned on me. I was upset, not because someone did cuss me out, but because I made someone mad enough that they felt the need to call and cuss me out. During our conversation, to put it mildly, I allowed that person to get under my skin. And, since that was exactly where they wanted to be, they had their way with me, verbally, of course.
So, the advice I give you from here on out, is not from an expert, it’s not from a psychiatrist or professor, it is my own personal advice. I like to call it on-the-job-training. If you have ever heard the old adage, “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” you can already imagine the direction I am going to go with my advice.
First and foremost, when an angry person takes the time out of their day to call you, allow them to speak. Allow them to tell you why they are angry with you, but don’t allow them to belittle or curse you. If that happens, feel free to interrupt them and let them know that you will not tolerate that type of language but if they want to calm down and approach you like an adult, then you are willing to listen. Nobody should have to put up with that type of treatment.
It is very important that you allow the caller to speak their mind. Don’t interrupt them in mid-sentence and try to correct them, even if they are wrong. Don’t try to stop them and offer a suggestion as to why you did or said what you did. More often than not, they just want to tell you what is on their mind and that will be the end of it and you can safely end the call thanking them for taking the time to call you.
However, if the caller is looking for a response from you when they are finished, approach them sensibly and amicably.
First, thank them for taking time out of their busy schedule to call you and point out your mistake. Let them know that you are appreciative of their time and that you will be more aware of the mistake and try not to repeat it in the future. Or, if the call warrants, you can let them know you will check into the mistake and will do whatever is necessary to fix it. It’s important to remember that regardless how bad we want to “jump” back, it’s much wiser not to.
