American Idol: Who’s Going to Be the Next William Hung?

I will admit it; I’m looking forward to this new season of American Idol. Not because I want to see who has the best talent or who’s the best looking, but because I want to see who sucks the most. I want to know who’s going to be the next William Hung…or worse.

While most people may watch the show for the best singers, there’s another crowd who like to view it as a freak show of inflated egos, crazy people, and the most ridiculous outfits imaginable. Some of us will stop watching once the first auditions are over, when all the freaks and geeks have been weeded out. And some of us will be converted, and continue to watch the show to see who’s actually going to win. This is why I loved last season, because some of the freaks actually made it to the last round, and won.

Yes, I’m talking about Taylor Hicks. Simon was completely right when saying he was like some drunkard at a wedding reception singing karaoke, but totally wrong if he thought the American people didn’t like him. Taylor Hicks is a phenomenon beyond belief, a true American Idol. He surely wasn’t the best looking, nor the best dancing, and it’s questionable if he was even the best singer. But he had heart, and a lot of it. He was too old, too grey, too genuine, to be the next American Idol, and yet democracy still prevailed. The votes said it all. Now that freak is living the American Dream.

We shouldn’t forget about the judges either. They all have their own little flaws that make them like fish in a fish-bowl. Of course there’s Simon Cowell with his brutal honesty and English wit that America loves to hate. Then there’s Paula Abdul…oh Paula, get a backbone please! Then there’s fat Randy and the Dogpound. He’s not as much of a freak as Simon or Paula; he’s nice and honest when he should be and can be pretty cool. But he’s fat, and being fat in America does make you a freak unfortunately. Fat people don’t be mad at me, I’m overweight too. That’s why I’m a writer. Anyways….

As auditions are wrapping up and we come closer to the next season, many viewers will be thinking about tuning in for other reasons than seeing another MTV clone. To these viewers, I salute you! May we continue on against our struggle against the next Kelly Clarkson, may we carry on the legacy of the true American Dream.