Broken Engagements: Who Keeps the Ring?
First of all, the whole issue of engagement is traditional, but slightly skewed in favor of the woman, who is the recipient of the engagement ring. The husband-to-be is expected to shell out a few thousand dollars to slip a diamond on the ring of his beloved as a promise that they will someday be married. Sometimes engagements result in marriage, and sometimes they don’t.
In some states, such as Kansas and Missouri, the engagement ring is considered a gift – nothing more, nothing less. When a woman is given an engagement ring by her now-fiancÃ?©, the ring becomes forever hers, and even if she breaks off the engagement, she is entitled to keep the ring.
The only instance in which this is not true in those states is if, in anger, the woman throws or gives back the engagement ring when the relationship dissolves. This is considered ‘returning the gift’, and she no longer has any claim to it. However, a civil court in Kansas did rule that the woman has 24 hours to change her mind if she wishes, and to take the ring back.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, in states like New Mexico and New York, the ring is a “conditional” gift, which means that if the engagement is dissolved, the woman must give her fiancÃ?© back the ring. This obviously leaves some room for questions, since it is not only the woman who can break off the engagement. But these states feel that if the obligation the ring represents is not fulfilled, then the gift never really took place.
And in a few less decisive states, like Texas and Washington State, the ring resides with the dumped. In other words, if a man breaks off an engagement with a woman, she is entitled to keep the ring. However, if she broke off the engagement herself, then she must return the engagement ring to him.
In these states, there is a question of a mutual separation, in which both parties decide that marriage is not for them, and they break it off simultaneously. In this case, disputes must be brought into court for a judge to decide. Even if both parties felt a separation was necessary, if one of them was becoming an alcoholic, then the other might be “more” entitled to the engagement ring.
