Include Your Children in Your Wedding Vows
Marriage vows have changed a great deal over the years. While many couples still use the traditional wedding vows they often add to them or make changes to reflect their personalities and goals for their marriage. With more and more couples creating blending families, including the children in the vows is a good way to let the children know they are a part of the newly formed family.
Children are often put in roles of the wedding party but the vows are usually just for their parents. The children are part of the wedding but they are left out of the promises of the marriage. Including them in the vows gives them a feeling of belonging to the new family.
There are several ways to include the children in the vows. Often the couple will simply add a few extra lines to their vows promising to love the children and be a good step-parent others are more detailed.
One groom and new step-father exchanged vows with the children. When the vows were exchanged between he and his soon to be new teenage step-daughter they both got a chuckle out of the congregation as he promised to scare all of her boyfriends away and she promised to only bring boyfriends home that he would hate. Certainly not traditional vows or even overly sentimental but it set a nice humorous tone for their relationship. Each child has their own unique set of vows in which the helped write along with the step-father.
Another wedding offered vows between soon to be step-mother and step-daughter as they vows to respect the others love for the groom and father, respect the other’s space and the step-mother promised to always help nurture the relationships in the step-daughters life including the relationship with her mother. In a way they set ground rules in the vows and told the other what they were willing to give and what was expected of one another. Again, this sets a good tone for the future of all relationships.
Many couples now have children on both sides of the marriage and sometime even the children exchange vows with one another. Often times this becomes very comical as the girls vow to not borrow the others clothes without permission and the boys vow to not pick on their soon to be new sisters. One does have to wonder how well they live up to those vows but they are given in a good spirit and it gives all of the children a feeling of family.
Children often feel as if they are an after thought in their parent’s new marriage and family, by including them in the vows and giving them an active part in the marriage they don’t feel as if they are the fifth wheel, instead they feel as if they are an important part of the new family you are all forming.
Some couples go beyond the wedding vows and actually do an exchange of rings. This is not a requirement but especially for very young girls this is a very nice added touch. It really does not matter how you go about the vows or how elaborate they are; the children simply want to be included in the life of their parent. Including them in the vows is a wonderful way to show them that they are wanted in your life and your family.
