Dating Sites Should NOT Do Background Checks on Members

More and more we are hearing the rising clamor for background checks of dating sites members. The media feeds upon the fear of online dating with stories of those rare occasions where a tragedy occurs. No one seems to emphasize the thousand times more in number of successful couplings, encounters and marriages that online dating sites facilitate everyday. Dating sites have taken a confidence hit with the online public and seem to be mute in response. This could help explain the noticeable drop in membership some sites have experienced in the past year. The online dating industry has also been the victims of self-serving “interested parties” lobby state legislators to pass laws that favor a certain business model. It makes great copy for a dating site to lobby for a state law and even more tempting for a state legislator to grab headlines by picking up the banner.

In all this hysteria and posturing a balanced approach to the background issue seems to have been lost. Before examining different options, we should first look at the questions that need to be addressed by background checks. While I am sure there are a few more issues that I have missed here, the first question that comes to mind is what kind of background checks are we talking about. Are they working off a nationwide database that is often months out of date and only report certain crimes? Are we talking about statewide databases, which in many cases have the same deficiencies as the federal database? Or are we talking looking at individual county searches which means actually sending people to each individual county to research court records. Do we look for and report minor offenses like disturbing the peace or first time DUI’s? How about misdemeanors verses felonies? What crimes do we report and what do we ignore? How far back do we look? Is a shoplifting record relevant if it happened when the member was 18 and now is 35? How about arrest records with subsequent dismissal of charges or expunged convictions that still show up on databases? What criteria to we use to decide what is relevant for an individual site and what is not? Like I said earlier, I am sure that there are many other questions that need to be addressed before a uniform approach can be achieved.

There is another issue that needs to be considered that has not been brought up in any forum or discussing I have seen. In the United States, we all look at the online world as population as numbering in the low hundreds of millions. With the war on drugs and the posturing of lawmakers to be tough on crime, this has resulted in a entire industry revolving round the justice system. The so-called “criminal justice system” has turned into big business and it keeps getting bigger. What does that do to the numbers of “clean” potential members? The latest figures I have heard that in the United States, 1 in 136 are either in jail or currently in the justice system (awaiting trial, probation, parole, etc). This does not include individuals that have served their time or paid their fine but yet have records that will follow them for the rest of their lives. When those are taken into account that brings the numbers affected to between 1 in 30 to 1 in 55 depending on your data source and criteria. At the rate things are going there will be a niche market for dating sites for those with criminal records!

And finally, the one thing that nobody seems to have taken into account is the matter of control over ones private information. Doing background checks without having a process in place to appeal or confirm findings exposes each site to legal liability. How far do websites go in revealing information about members or is it acceptable to just to state “member has passed a background check”? Where do the rights of privacy for the member that is under scrutiny begin or end? Where does the liability for each individual site lie?

What a slippery slope we are looking to tread! So what is the answer? Honestly, there is no simple solution in spite of what others have claimed in statehouses and PR announcements. There is however a service that has a solution to most if not all of the issues brought up here. It is PersonaCheck.com. They provide 3rd party background checks to individuals who request such background checks on THEMSELVES! Members of PersonaCheck.com can review background results, verify the accuracy and then provide them to others whom they choose. Individuals control their own personal private information; control who gets it and how much the recipient gets. There is no other service on or off line that allows such safety and control. You can try it out yourself free at www.personacheck.com . While dating sites should not do background checks or governments should not require them to do so for many reasons, individuals should have the option to provide that information AND CONTROL IT!

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