Sex and the Married Mommy
My husband loves to brag about me to his friends or whatever guys will listen. He loves to talk about his “sex goddess” wife. Not only do I write about sex, sexual topics and erotic fiction, I genuinely love sex and I’m not afraid to admit it, so that got me labeled as the “sex goddess” by some of his friends. Some of the wives of those men call me to ask for advice. I’ve even put together gift baskets full of books, videos, lingerie, toys, lubricants and plenty of tips and tricks for a couple of them.
I have always been interested in sex. I was born a sexually creature. I have read every book, magazine and website that I can find about sex. I was reading books about sex while my friends were still playing with Barbie dolls. Growing up in a female centered household taught me how to cultivate and use my sexual powers.
My mother was a subtle sexual goddess. She was a lady, a little quirky and eccentric, but every bit a lady, yet her powers of seduction entranced many men after my father passed away. I learned by watching her wield her magic on men who were quite willing to be entranced. I wanted to grow up and have that kind of power.
My mother was beautiful, small and delicate, a natural beauty. Her dark hair, exotic grey eyes, and freckles on top of a petite curvy body were an intoxicating mix of childlike innocence and smoldering sexuality that drove men wild. She almost always wore skirts or dresses and never left the house without looking her best. She was always very feminine and a little quirky. She wore flowers and a butterfly (long before butterflies were cool) in her hair. I think that just added to her charm and set her apart from the rest. Thankfully I inherited some of her beauty, a lot of her sexuality and a bit of her quirkiness. I wonder if she knows how much I learned from her, how much I owe her for being the woman I am today. By observing her, I learned how to use my own feminine power.
My mission has always been to learn as much about sex as possible and use it. I wanted to be a sex goddess. I wanted men to find me irresistible, and they did. Now as a married mommy, I only want one man to find me irresistible and even after years of being together, my husband still can’t get enough of me.
Sometimes it can be very difficult. Mothers have a hard time feeling sexy or even believing that we should be sexy. Sex is what brought those little darlings into this world though and everyone knows it. You don’t have to become non-sexual once the baby is born.
I know at first between lack of sleep, crazy hormones, and a lot of stress sex is the last thing on your mind. I felt like that after the birth of my second and third child. I didn’t want sex or feel sexy anymore. It just took a little while to get back to feeling like me again. I remembered that I was a beautiful, sexy woman and that I didn’t have to be “just” a mom. I could be both. I also realized that I didn’t have to be sexy all the time. If I wanted to be a lump on the couch in sweats once in awhile I had that right too, and my husband is perfectly fine with it. What counts is that you spend quality time with each other and learn how to be intimate without sex. Then you can work your way back into being a sexy creature.
Children can definitely dampen the desire, whether it is from lack of sleep or the fact that it is hard to have wild spontaneous sex on the sofa or dining room table when you have to worry about one of the kids walking in. Plus how do you explain the Love Swing hanging from your ceiling? You can’t leave things lying around either- no condoms, lubricants, toys or other props, you wouldn’t want one of the kids to come out of the bedroom with a dildo on their head while the in laws are over for dinner saying “Look grandma I’m a unicorn!” (I suggest having a sex treasure chest or a really good locked hiding spot).
The good news is things get easier once the kids get older. It gets easier to have alone time, they start going over to friends houses and you’ll have the chance to be a couple again even if only for a night or weekend. You’ll also find it easier for the two of you to escape for romantic weekend getaways.
I think it is easier to be a sexy mom than a sexual mom. It can take less time and effort to “be” sexy than to actually put that sexiness into good use in the bedroom. A mom has the ultimate challenge of finding the time and energy to find time to even think about sex, but it can be done. I know, even with three kids, I make my sexual relationship with my husband a priority in our life. It keeps us both happy and satisfied which makes the rest of our life a lot easier.
