Top Ten Quotes From Ellen DeGeneres
1. What Is Normal?
Ellen DeGeneres’ look at “normal” is humorous, yet, ever so true! She says “Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
2. Ellen DeGeneres’ Thoughts on Colgate Toothpaste
Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!
“I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothpaste. I just want clean teeth that’s all I want. I don’t want the tartar and I don’t want the cavities. And I want white teeth. How come I have to choose? And then they have the ‘Colgate Total’ that supposedly has everything in there. I don’t believe that for one second. If it’s all in the one, how come they make all the others? Who’s going: “I don’t mind the tartar so much.”
3. Who Packages This Stuff?
Another of the ten best quotes of Ellen DeGeneres concerns the packaging of light bulbs and other products:
“So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers…I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here…is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors…you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldn’t be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it’s this thin thin cardboard …..what are they thinking? “Oh, they’ll be fine.”
Obviously, since lightbulbs don’t cost as much as CD’s, manufacturers are lax about their packaging. But, yet again, Ellen has a point!
4. Penguins Can’t Be Choosy
Another one of the ten best quotes of Ellen DeGeneres is about those black and white, flightless birds that live in the Antarctic: “I have just learned that penguins are monogamous for life, which doesn’t really surprise me all that much because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re going to meet a better looking penguin someday,” is another one of the ten best quotes of Ellen DeGeneres.
5. Those Crazy 60’s
Do you remember the 1960’s when there were far-out fads like troll dolls, miniskirts and love beads? Ellen has something comical to say about this time era and television: “The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.”
6. The Good Psychic
Psychics can foretell the future and tell us what’s going to happen before it actually does. Ellen DeGeneres tells of this experience: “The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course, it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said “God Bless you.” I said, “I didn’t sneeze.” She looked deep into my eyes and said, “You will, eventually.” And damn it, if she wasn’t right. Two days later I sneezed.”
7. Yoga Thoughts
Ellen DeGeneres has been quoted as saying, “I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I’m looking out of my third eye and everything that I’m supposed to be doing. It’s amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. ‘Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama’s got the magic of Clorox 2…'”
8. Finding Time for Exercise
“I gotta’ work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta’ start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh…is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh…and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh…try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.”
9. What Drives Ellen DeGeneres Crazy?
If you drive a car, then you can relate to this quote by Ellen DeGeneres: “Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong – normally you wouldn’t say, thank God I have gas.”
10. Kindergarten Blues
And finally, the last of the ten best quotes of Ellen DeGeneres gives us a supposed glimpse into her childhood, jokingly, of course: “I was coming home from kindergarten–well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.”
