How Not to Cook Your Thanksgiving Turkey
1. Leaving the plastic bag on your bird. (While in the oven, this fun piece of plastic will melt on to your turkey giving it a very hard crusty cover and also a horrible smell throughout the house. This smell rarely leaves in time for company to come over for this plastic covered turkey.)
2. Setting the oven too low. (Besides taking forever to cook it also might give your company and yourself food poisoning.)
3. De-Thawing the turkey completely. (As much as it takes time off cooking time it might just let in those fun bacteria and munch away at the turkey and might not be cooked out, especially if it not cooked all the way through.)
4. Microwave your Turkey! (Faster cooking time and fun spots that is undercooked with spots that are overcooked.)
5. Add stuffing the night before. (The bacteria we all love and adore that give us the food poisoning can take up residence in the stuffing and turkey, which might just stay there through cooking.)
6. Deep-frying your Turkey with propane! (This is a sure-fire way to set the turkey and grease aflame in seconds, might even take down the house with it.)
7. Leaving in the turkey bits inside the turkey- the pieces of giblet and such. (Leaving them inside might cause a beautiful fire from within the turkey while cooking or even melt the plastic around them for that nice plastic smell around the house again.)
8. Really clean your turkey, with bleach or other chemicals. (When cleaning the turkey with too much bleach, it will pretty much ruin the bird and even after cooked will be pretty dangerous to the average guest.)
9. Cook your turkey on a radiator. (Another fun way to attempt the cooking with having spots under and over-cooked.)
10. Last but never least, actually paying attention to this as a guide! (These are pretty much the wrong ways to cook. Good luck with the holiday cooking).
