Top Ten Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Contractor

A builder in my neighborhood has gone bankrupt, leaving lots of houses unfinished and apparently taking the money of several of his fellow churchgoers in the process. In his honor, this list.

10. The day after you have them rewire your house, you discover that all of your twist ties are missing from your box of garbage bags.
9. The back of the bricklayer’s truck is full of Legos.
8. He tries to sell you on the benefits of adobe siding.
7. The insulated windows he installs are pieces of glass with pink fiberglass taped to the back.
6. You notice the only building supplies in his van are seven cases of duct tape and some WD-40.
5. He offers to install a garage door opener on your carport.
4. Each time you turn on your kitchen light, the toilet flushes.
3. The sign on his car says “Acme Contracting….. The finest in construction for over 4 months.
2. You realize that the contact you’re signing is written on the back of the papers he used to file Chapter 11.
1. He builds your deck out of balsa wood.