Stacking Up as a Man

So some discussion started this morning over the list of the 25 Things Every Man Should Know. I’m unsure how it came up, as the revised list was generated in 2007 by Popular Mechanics, but I think one of my cube neighbors heard a discussion on public radio on his way into the office and thought he had something interesting to share.

Needless to say, I was intrigued to a point, to see just how I stacked up as a man, especially after hearing some of the items and knowing that I was lacking in certain areas. Anyway, I thought it would be worth while running down the list and seeing just how manly I really am.

25 Things Every Man Should Know

1.) Patch a radiator hose – That’s right next to the Johnson Rod right?
2.)Protect your computer – I do what I can, but I’m having trouble mounting the club on my LCD.
3.)Rescue a boater who has capsized – I may be wrong here, but I think you need to drag him back into the boat right?
4.)Frame a wall – I got the framing down pat, but my wife doesn’t care for the fact that it the wall keeps falling over.
5.)Retouch digital photos – Once printed, you can touch them again and again.
6.)Back up a trailer – I don’t know if I have enough room on my hard drive for an entire trailer.
7.)Build a campfire – Everytime I get one started, that damn bear comes along and snuffs it out on me.
8.)Fix a dead outlet – Fill it with an outlet cover and move the plug to the next outlet right?
9.)Navigate with a map and compass – This is hypocritical at best; men don’t need maps.
10.)Use a torque wrench – I’m not comfortable with tools around my nuts.
11.)Sharpen a knife – I’m already the dullest in the drawer, why would I want to make anyone else look better?
12.)Perform CPR – I’m going to claim ignorance as long as I can keep going to class.
13.)Fillet a fish – If millions of McDonald’s employees can figure it out, I’m sure I can.
14.)Maneuver a car out of a skid – My last time, I let the tree stop me.
15.)Get a car unstuck – I think it would be better to know how to keep it from getting stuck.
16.)Back up data – Wouldn’t it be easier to find a spot to pull it in forward?
17.)Paint a room – Does this come before or after framing the walls?
18.)Mix concrete – Shouldn’t there be another step here, like pouring it?
19.)Clean a bolt-action rifle – In the off-chance that I need to get involved in urban warfare?
20.)Change oil and filter – Seeing as oil is such a commodity now, I think I’ll hang onto what I’ve got, thank you.
21.)Hook up an HDTV But what do you do if you are color blind?
22.)Bleed brakes – Now I know why I had to sharpen the knife.
23.)Paddle a canoe – My mother always told me I was without the paddle.
24.)Fix a bike flat – What good is a flat bike?
25.)Extend your wireless network – I’ll do what I can, but this is plugged into the dead outlet.

So how do you stack up as a man?

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