A College Graduate’s Advice to Teen Parents
Due to trying times at home, I found myself on the streets; seeking solace in all the wrong places. At a time of my deepest need, I was romanced by someone I’d had a secret crush on for quite some time. To make a long story short, I ended up pregnant. Every inch of wisdom that had gotten me to that point was, seemingly; lost. It was as if someone or something had invaded my mind and transformed me into Super NaÃ?¯ve GirlâÂ?¦the babe from planet DUMB. I allowed myself to be taken in by some of the worst lines ever. I guess at the time, it was what I wanted and maybe needed to hear. In the end, I was left alone to raise my son.
Though times were hard, I made up in my mind that my current situation was not going to determine the outcome of my life. I went through my own periods of blame and disappointment. I pointed the finger at myself enough to last a lifetime. In some ways, I am still pointing the finger. I find myself to be my own worst critic. However, I realize that I can’t turn back the hands of time, nor would I want to.
Though I became a statistic, I decided that I would set a standard for myself, in the face of this life-changing setback. I accepted responsibility for my actions and allowed myself to learn what it was to be sole caregiver of a being so perfect. As someone brought up in the church, abortion was a fleeting idea. For me, it was a quick fix to something I saw as unmanageable. How would I support my newborn and myself? I decided that the best decision for me was to face the challenge head on�turn the tables on stereotypes by becoming a statistical anomaly. No matter how hard the road, I was determined to navigate my way through it. I found that many other teen parents came to me for advice, because they recognized my determination to move beyond the stigma and own up to the test.
I started off on welfare, because I needed to get on my feet. I tried taking college courses but found myself distracted by motherhood and the many challenges it presented. I withdrew from college twice, because I felt I was wasting money and time. I needed to regain my focus and try college at a latter point. I took on a certification class for pharmacy and ended up working as a pharmacy technician for 3 years. During that time, the struggle that comes with finding reputable childcare caused me great frustration. Still, I pressed on. I felt that some people were expecting me to fail and I was unwavering in my attempts to prove them wrong. Please know that we ALL fall down. The trick rests in getting back up, brushing off the soil and continuing on. Over the course of time, I found myself dingy and distraught�humbled by lasting pitfalls and stumbling blocks.
During my final year as a pharmacy technician, I made up in my mind that I was going to take a shot at college again. I didn’t want to give up on my goals. I had made some pretty good money and met the man of my dreams. I discussed the fact that I really wanted to go to college and actually complete my degree. I was taken down to Columbia College in Chicago, where my tuition was paid in full for the upcoming semester. I felt extremely blessed that someone viewed the passion in me as something worth supporting. In fact, I guess the excitement was so overwhelming that I ended up pregnant for the second time; at the age of 21. The red lights were really beaming at this time. Had I made things harder?
The first time I attempted to take college courses, I was the parent of one. Now, here I was; two children later, trying to fulfill my dream. I started off slow and eased my way into my classes. There were instances where I had to take my children to class with me. My instructors were so impressed by my determination, that they gave me no problems about my children being there. In fact, my classroom treated my kid’s presence as the greatest entertainment ever. My peers viewed me as an inspiring force.
I took enough classes to place me right at full-time status (12 credit hours) and worked hard to maintain my grades. The first time out the block, I received A/B marks and decided to try for a bit more the next time around. In the end, I gave college my all. I wanted to achieve something that others stopped believing I could, after I became a mom. I was smiling through the tears, when people asked me how I thought I could possibly finish school with two kids. Although I could see their point, the entire time, I was saying to myself “you just waitâÂ?¦I’m going to go further than you think.”
At the end of my college career; I had gotten only one “C” (a very humbling experience), after making the Deans List every semester. I fought for the right to excel. I was the determining factor in how far I went. I didn’t allow other people’s discouragement to overshadow my drive in life. Though I began my journey as a teen parent, I completed this chapter of my life as a college graduate…the outcome of a teen mother who refused to stay down. No matter what the statistics say about African AmericansâÂ?¦minority femalesâÂ?¦ single-parent momsâÂ?¦products of public schools or teen parents, I paved my own path. I thank God for instilling in me a passion to succeed, no matter what.
My advice to teen parents: Please know that you can achieve greatness if YOU believe in YOU. No matter how many rejections, have faith in who you are and what you bring to the table. Regardless of what the situation looks like, purpose within yourself to fight past a defeatist mentality. I write this article, because I have learned to have faith in my own abilities. Though not everyone believes in me, I am proud to know that I have excelled past the picture my past situation presented me with. I took on a “no weapon that’s formed against me shall prosper” attitude. I found myself moving toward greatness, because I believed I deserved to win.
