A Guide to Making the Holidays Memorable for the Small Family
My husband’s family lived over a four hour drive away; my own family, at least a two hour drive away. In addition of having to struggle with the question of whose family to visit when and for how long, I also happen to be married to a genuine homebody. My husband has always, always preferred that we stay “at home” for the holidays, “at home” being wherever we happened to be residing at the time.
You also may have found yourself in a similar predicament. How can you make the holidays merry when you can’t, won’t or don’t share them with close relatives? Again over the years, we have worked, organized and meticulously detailed out a series of events and activities that help keep the joy in ‘joyous’, that can help ease the sting of not spending the holidays with your parents and other loved ones far away.
Step #1 – Once you know that you won’t be traveling or having guests for the holidays, get out your notebook! It is quite important that you put your ‘game plan’ into writing. You’ll need to be organized if you want things to actually HAPPEN; thinking about them or reading about them just doesn’t cut it.
Step #2 – Scour your local newspapers – all of them! – for upcoming holiday activities. Search the web as well for activities located within a certain distance of your home, too. You’re looking for activities and events that the entire family can enjoy, that won’t break the bank, and that give you a sense of the holiday spirit. Start searching at least three weeks before the holidays, earlier if you know that ‘home for the holidays’ will mean pretty much where you’re sitting right now!
Step #3 – The types of activities and events should be as varied and plentiful as possible. Some of the things that come immediately to mind are school concerts, both vocal and instrumental (many, if not all, of these are free!), visits with Santa at the local Malls if you have small children, tree lighting ceremonies, church concerts (again, usually free of charge), winter carnivals and festivals. Many of these festivals are again hosted by church groups; don’t be shy about attending if this is not the church or house of worship of your own faith. It will give you the chance to interact with other local folks who do belong to that particular church, and you may even find an interest in getting to know that church and its beliefs in the future.
Other activities to consider, depending upon the age and desire of your family, are sleigh rides, sledding, ice sculpturing contests, craft shows which abound during the year and feature homemade articles usually at great prices, and not limited to just holiday items or gifts. Check the schedule of your local malls to see what they’re offering; many offer concerts and choral groups as well. A number of towns and cities have municipal events that they sponsor in hopes of drawing tourists to the area; check out the web sites of local municipalities to see if they’re holding a “Festival of Lights”, “Winter Wonderland”, or “Decorated Boat Contest”!
There are at least three towns within our own county that hold contests to determine which power or sail boat is the best-dressed (or most comical, most original, etc.) as they parade down the river. As with all outdoor events, be sure to bundle up! Breezes coming off of the water can be quite intimidated! Of course, major cities usually hold major holiday parades. If you’ve missed those, check with other (smaller) towns to see when they’re hosting their own holiday parades. Kids love nothing better than to bundle up and watch Santa and his missus glide by on that very last float!
Step #4 – Most of the above suggestions are free or at a nominal cost. If you can swing it financially, I would highly recommend a trip to New York City at least once during the holidays. Scour the web for budget deals on hotels or even package deals. You can spend just a day in the city, a two or three days weekday stay, or live it up on a weekend. Go to the New York City tourism web site to see exactly what’s going on sponsored by the city. Also Google the web for other online holiday activities happening in the Big Apple. There are concerts, Broadway shows, beautifully decorated store windows to browse, quirky little restaurants to visit, art gallery openings, shows and ‘meet the artist’ parties as well. Skate at Rockefeller Center; take your time as you and yours stroll the Museum of Modern Art.
Take a carriage ride through Central Park. Just walking the streets of New York’s Manhattan will make you feel like a visitor to a winter wonderland. That spirit is infectious! Again, carefully plan your visit so that you can make the most of your time there. Order show tickets on line, or take your chances at the TKST kiosk in Times Square. At the kiosk (anyone who has lived in New York for more than ten minutes can tell you where in Times Square to find it!), you have the chance to buy deeply discounted theater tickets. Keep in mind that the show should be something that the whole family would enjoy, and that the tickets you’ll be buying are for that evening’s performance. There are no advanced sales, payments must be made in cash, and it’s really a luck of the draw opportunity to see what tickets you can buy for what show. Don’t expect to find tickets to “Spamalot” or “The Producers” available; the shows are generally top-rated, relatively new to Broadway, relatively old to Broadway, or off-Broadway, or off-off-off Broadway! Once we got half-priced tickets to “Tony and Tina’s Wedding” through the kiosk; my daughters still rave about the fun we had being part of the show, the meal we had, and how cool it was to be drawn into the actual show itself.
Tickets to these ‘wedding’ or ‘party’ shows are usually available at the kiosk and may very well be your best bet for family entertainment (plus a meal, too!) Be sure to pack a camera for your New York stay! Make the most of your time there (having researched decent and well-priced hotels and transportation!), or just relax and drink in the ambiance of all that is New York during the holidays! Just being able to say “We went to New York for a few days during the holidays” inspires an awful lot of envy and gives you a lifetime of memories as a family.
Step #4 – You’ve lined up concerts and plays nearby that you and the family can attend; you’ve circled the dates of boat parades, your weekend in New York, that huge craft show that has received rave reviews. Where to from here? Start thinking outside the conventional box – think about giving as a personal statement for you all as a family. Again, scour your local papers and go online. Volunteers are always needed during the holidays. If you’d like a break from searching for groups and organizations that need help, start by cleaning out your closets and those of other family members for clothing, housewares, books, toys, electronics, anything that you can readily live without or have outgrown. Gather them up and take them to your local Salvation Army Thrift Store, or any charitable organization’s shop. Look for these places either in the yellow pages or online. When you drop off your unwanted items, be certain to ask for a tax receipt for your donation as well. You’re not only giving good, clean, gently worn and used items to a good cause, you’re getting a tax break and making room for the new clothes, toys and games that Santa may be bringing to your home come Christmas Day.
Also sort through your kitchen for food and nonperishables that can be donated to local food banks. As a family, check the closets, cupboards, storage areas, wherever, and put together bags of items that you can donate. It’s during the holidays that local food banks need help the most. Boxed and canned items are your best bet (why did you buy 17 cans of baby green peas at the local superwarehouse, anyway?), but also needed are diapers, towels, blankets, even coupons! This gives you a great chance to sort through your coupon folder and carefully place all together those that you wish to donate in a white envelope clearly marked “Coupons”. Make it a family event by all of you taking your donations either to the thrift/charity stores and to the food banks or food drive collection boxes.
Don’t forget Rover during the holidays as well. Animal shelters are always in desperate need of cash, towels, blankets, bedding, dog and cat food, coupons, and more, again especially during the holidays. Unfortunately, there’s a high percentage of folks who will be dropping their pets off at shelters during the holidays; maybe they can’t feed the animal, maybe they weren’t allowed to keep one at their residence, maybe it was just too much stress for them to care for the pet. Call your local animal shelter to see what they need and how and when you can get it to them. Again, make this a family affair; go together as a group! This is also a golden opportunity for the family to consider adopting a pet as a holiday gift, ONLY if that’s mutually acceptable to you all! Nothing brings greater joy that bringing home Puppy or Kitty as your family’s own holiday gift!
Other ways in which you can volunteer are by contacting your local food banks to see if they need help serving food during the holidays, or even just sorting through and stacking donations. Again, make it a family affair and do it together! Call your local hospital to see if they need extra volunteers during the holidays. Some staff and volunteers would dearly love to have Christmas, Kwaanza or Channukah spent with their own families; could you or your family take their positions for a day or two? You may also want to consider contacting your local police or sheriff’s department to see if they need any volunteer staffers during the long holiday period as well.
Step #5 – Extend yourself to other ‘small’ families nearby. If you have new neighbors, if you have friends who are alone or also have small families, invite them to join you for the holidays. If you like, invite them to your holiday dinner or any dinner during this time of the year. It need not be fancy – dinner is most enjoyable when spent in the company of those that you enjoy! Host a tree trimming party, with punch, hot chocolate, cookies and fruitcake at the end. Host a small buffet or potluck dinner; everyone loves to visit during the holidays with friends and neighbors. Again, this can be done on even the most limited of budgets. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune to cook up a big kettle of soup, or spaghetti, or chili; serve the main course with crusty breads or rolls and have homemade cookies, cakes, pies for dessert. The idea is not to make it a ‘formal’ affair, but rather one that your entire family – and theirs – can ejoy. Start your own family tradition by hosting these gatherings; people will come to look forward to and expect their invitations! Remember to keep in mind that it’s not the size or your wallet or your home that counts; it’s the size of your heart in extending invitations for others to share in your holiday that counts!
Step #5 – Most of all, enjoy the holidays as a family! Be thankful for what you have, and be certain to tell those around you how much they mean to you, not just during the holidays, but every day. Think about starting your own holiday traditions: At your holiday dinner, each family member may be asked to say what he or she is most grateful for from the past year and what they hope the New Year holds for them. Take lots of photos: under the tree, at the dinner table, Christmas morning. These will be lasting memories that you’ll treasure – and share with those far away – for a lifetime.
