A Guide to the 4th Annual Bonnaroo Festival
Along with Coachella in California and the newly planted Chicagoan version of the Lollapalooza festival (the concert as a traveling venue folded in the wake of poor ticket sales), the multi-day arts festival has become a thriving outlet for bands and fans all around the country. There are literally dozens of said events, in all regions and of varying size and notoriety. But Bonnaroo is perhaps the biggest and the best. They’ve consistently attracted the most high profile (as well as diverse) group of artists. This year they are led by commercial and critical juggernaut Radiohead, not to mention other established acts like Tom Petty and Beck.
I’ve come up with a couple of lists to aide the nearly 100,000 that will be traveling down to Manchester, TN for this event. There’s a list of the top five artists that you shouldn’t miss (even if you haven’t heard of them); as well as one for that bands you needn’t waste your time with. I’ve also made a Bonnaroo dos and don’ts list for festival-going in general (trust me; you’ll need to read this- Lollapalooza kids, take notice as well). Good luck intrepid travelers, may your journey set you free.
THE TOP 5 ARTIST YOU SHOULDN’T MISS (Even if you haven’t heard of them)
5. BECK – Okay, you’ve probably heard of this guy, but don’t miss your chance to check out Beck in front of massive audience. Beck puts on a great show and his last few albums have been his best. He doesn’t usually leave the comfort of doing theatre shows, so seeing him on this lineup was a bit of a surprise. Don’t miss Beck. For my money, there’s not a better pure entertainer in the mix.
4. THE STREETS – The Streets (AKA Brit-rapper Michael Skinner) has been knocked in the press for putting on lackluster live shows, but I would take a chance on this creative talent. With three albums under his belt now, The Streets have more to work with. Skinner’s sarcastic takes on daily life in the UK are hilarious and he has beats to make them work. They’ll probably be on one of the smaller stages (as will the next three artists), so the set will be more intimate. The Streets, find them, listen.
3. UMPHREY’S McGEE – This Chicago band has a little bit of everything. Since the breakup of jam band legends Phish, Umphrey’s McGee (as well as other Bonnaroo regulars Disco Biscuits and moe.) have taken the reigns, as well as the box office receipts, of the jam band nation. If there is a Jam Band Nation then Bonnaroo would be the capital city and Umphrey’s would definitely be on the ballot. Less boring than some of their psyched out contemporaries, Umphrey’s is not above covering Billy Joel, Metallica or Motley Crue.
Their mission is to have a good time and make sure the audience does the same. They regularly play over 100 shows a year, so they are always on top of their game. What’s that mean? If musicianship is your thing, then Umphrey’s is your band too. I like bands whose demographic can cross over to drunken fools as well as pretentious prog and jazz nuts. Umphrey’s McGee will gain some new fans at Bonnaroo; will you be one of them?
2. MY MORNING JACKET – This group perfectly blends Southern rock and modern alternative stylings to create a sound that is as accessible as it is mind blowing. My Morning Jacket’s last two albums (It Still Moves and Z) were critical darlings but they were also just plain good. These Kentucky natives won’t be too far from either, so except a show with some hometown energy. My Morning Jacket is the perfect accompaniment to the beautiful, relaxed backdrop that is Manchester.
1. OYSTERHEAD – You remember Oysterhead right? A few years back this super-group released one of the most underrated albums of all time (in my humble opinion). The Grand Pecking Order was a masterpiece that showcased the diverse talents of each three members. Oysterhead, a different kind of power trio, consists of Stewart Copeland (The Police), Les Claypool (Primus) and Trey Anastasio (Phish). I couldn’t imagine a stranger combination of influences and it shows. As a fan, who won’t be attending Bonnaroo, I can only hope that this Oysterhead reunion results in more shows and, more importantly, a much needed second album. I’ve got my fingers crossed, you go see Oysterhead.
THE TOP FIVE BANDS YOU NEEDN’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH
5. PHIL AND FRIENDS – I love the Grateful Dead and I also love Phil and Friends (I once saw them in the first row at the Garden States Arts Center on a combination of acid and ecstasy- but wow, is that neither here nor there). Phil and Friends are great; great if they’re playing at your local amphitheater and you’ve got nothing else to do. There are just too many other (read: better and younger) bands at Bonnaroo. No disrespect to Phil or any of his Friends, but check the schedule carefully- don’t miss out on something.
4. MATISYAHU – Matisyahu has gimmick written all over his 6’9″ Hassidic Jew frame. I’ve nothing against Matisyahu, personally speaking, but Jesus does his music (and image) annoy me. Do we really need an NBA tall, reggae loving Jew ripping off Sublime? We can’t possibly. I’m waiting for somebody to tell us that it’s all a joke, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen. Go see Matisyahu if you like his stuff, just don’t tell anybody.
3. MEDESKI, MARTIN AND WOOD – MMW (A cool way to reference the no vocal, jazz inspired trio consisting of, you guessed it, Medeski, Martin and Wood) is exactly what’s wrong with jamming as a genre. It’s a lot of nothing packaged into a whole lot of everything (meaning notes and sounds). I can’t believe these guys still have an audience; I actually used to pretend I liked them to fit into a certain crowd (I didn’t fit in anyway, nor do I fit in with any crowd for that matter- but I digress). Just don’t go see Medeski, Martin, Wood, or any band that uses everybody’s last name; those bands are never good (See Emerson, Lake and Palmer). To prove my point, CSNY was nothing without Young. Three is no good.
2. BONNIE RAITT – If Bonnie Raitt is cool now, than I’m such a dork.
1. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE – I don’t get this band or their stupid band name. Death Cab for Cutie just wreaks of pretentious, cred-seeking snobbery and I have no time for them. Plus, once your music has been featured on The OC you lose any of the “indie” appeal that you may (or may not) have been looking for. I hate Death Cab for Cutie’s overly clever (read: not clever at all) lyrics. I hate Death Cab for Cutie’s “we’re okay with being geeks” attitude. I hate Death Cab for Cutie. But who am I?
Here are the basics, follow these instructions and you’re sure to have a killer time:
THE DO LIST for festival concert attendance
DO bring toilet paper (this is self explanatory, I hope)
DO buy plenty of beer and food before you go in (why pay more than the 180 you dropped on a ticket)
DO have a change of underpants (bring three or four for that matter)
DO bring your own drugs (NARCs are everywhere, this is my mantra, just go with it)
DO have a great time (this may seem obvious, but check out the don’t list to see how easily things can fall apart)
THE DON’T LIST
DON’T poop in the porta-potties during peak hours (wait till they drain that sucker, preferably mid weekend, in the middle of the night)
DON’T purchase anything inside the gates (fight the power man, you’re better than that)
DON’T poop in your pants (the change of underpants I mentioned will come in handy if this happens, but try and avoid it)
DON’T take strange drugs (bad drugs can lead to a bad time, they can make you poop in your pants)
DON’T have a bad time but if you do, don’t ruin anybody else’s (these concerts are all about vibes, so if you’ve pooped in your pants or taken some bunk acid don’t rain on everybody’s parade, find an alone place and work it out, the power of the mind is an unbelievable thing man)
That’s it. Enjoy Bonnaroo; eat a chocolate covered mushroom for me!
