A Look at the Stresses Within the Military Family
Faces of Sacrifice-Beyond the Soldier.
A loud roaring sound is finally making it’s way down the street in front of the house. We’ve been up for a few hours preparing for their arrival. Our backs are a little stiff from sleeping on the air mattresses for the past two days, so we are a bit cranky. As we sit on the couch and wait for the monestrous truck to be maneuvered in a more suitable position, tears start to well up in my 14 years old eyes. As I reach to pat him on the back he suddenly hides the fact that he is emotional and then retreats into his room which is full of packed boxes of his only belongings. You say to him, “It will be alright.” However, deep inside you are tortured with his pain of having to face another military transfer, attend another school, make new social relationships, and leave the friends that he has worked so hard to develop.
Though society often hears of the sacrifices associated with military service members, are the sacrifice of the military family truly understood? Generally, when one hears our President thanking our Nation’s military for their sacrifices, we think of the obvious and deemed most important, time spent in war or the ultimate sacrifice of giving one’s life. We must always validate those service members with respect and provide empathy to their families
As the first paragraph gives a true life account of the morning a military family is faced with the reality of the moving van arriving, the face of a broken hearted teenager gives new meaning to the word sacrifice. Not only are the service members dealing with the stresses of a new duty station and Command, but within the family unit lies a deeper internal struggle-the guilt of uprooting their family’s life and resentment that may build from all the changes.
Each year thousands of military service men and women relocate after a usual three of four year tour. Accompanying them are also what the military refers as “dependents” which include their spouses and their children. All of which are faced with simultaneously dealing with major emotional life changing events such as, unemployment, educational changes, and severing and obtaining social relationships. Even the strongest emotional bonds have their breaking points. A military family must survive incredible obstacles to stay emotionally and physically healthy.
Though statistics regarding the divorce rate within the military is near impossible to obtain, one can get a grim truth just by informal interviewing military personnel and dependents. My own unscientific research identifies that out of the ten military families that I interviewed, seven were divorced. Two of the members joined the military following the divorce. I can conclude that fifty percent of the military members interviewed were divorced due to the stresses of the military lifestyle. That’s higher than the United States overall divorce rate recorded in 2004.
However, divorce is not the main monster that devastates military families. Sometimes it is actually the result of more complex issues of drug and alcohol addiction, family violence, behavioral or mental health issues that are often associated with unhealthy coping skills when dealing with life changes.
Military children and teenagers often find difficulties when transferring into different school systems. This often awakens behavioral difficulties which stem from the feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Being the new kid in town is not always a pleasant experience, they must sometimes deal with teasing and struggle with “fitting in” with the local kids.
Though this article may only give an overview of challenges that military service members and their “dependents” endure, I hope it will also provide a broader meaning to the word, “Sacrifice”. Even the members that are not deployed overseas and may be providing services to our Country in a more passive nature are still sacrificing for their country each day. The Military family faces an army with each military transfer that is strong enough to end a families existence and bring even the strongest soldier to his/her knees. Support our troops-regardless of your political opinions!
