A Man’s Guide to Effective Listening in a Relationship
Look Into the Person’s Eyes
When someone is talking to you, look them straight in the eyes. (unless you’re driving) Looking at the TV or reading is not a good thing at all. Use your head.
Clear Your Mind
This is so important. One thing we tend to do as men while our wife or girlfriend is talking to us, we tend to (instead of really listening) think of what we are going to say next time we have a chance to speak. Boy does this make things worse in the case of a serious discussion or argument. Women aren’t ignorant at all when it comes to this. Looking in her eyes will do you NO GOOD if your wheels are spinning because you’re thinking of what you’re going to say. She’ll catch on to what you’re doing really quick. Clear your mind man! Concentrate on what SHE is saying.
Reflective Listening
When she says something like, “I want us to do more things as a couple”. You could reply with something like, “You want us to go for walks or picnics or take a weekend getaway just the two of us.”. What you’re doing there is agreeing with her but you’re also letting her know that you are LISTENING. Don’t do it too much and with everything she says or you’ll sound a bit condescending but just a bit of this can have a big effect.
Elaborate
Add to what she is saying. If she asks you, “Does this dress make me look fat?”. Don’t just say “No”. Elaborate a bit. Tell her to spin around for your, tell her the dresses colors bring out her beautiful eyes. Don’t over do it or it will sound false.
Arguments
Good listening skills are essential during an argument. I know it’s difficult when you’re mad but LISTEN to what she is saying. Easier said than done I know but the whole point of an argument is to reach a resolution of some sort. If you’re not listening to her, the argument is doomed to repeat itself.
There’s nothing more frustrating for your lady in her relationship to talk about something serious and you aren’t listening. It makes her feel like you don’t care about her feelings. That hurts her. And it gives her the impression that you just don’t care. That makes her angry. What good can come from that?